THE
COUNTRY GIRLs POLICY;
OR, THE
COCKNEY OUTWITTED.
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ALL you that are to Mirth inclind,
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Come tarry here a little while:
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Pray read it once, and I do not fear,
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But soon it will make you to smile.
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The Londoners call us Country Fools,
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And laugh at us every Day;
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But Ill let them see before I have done,
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We know as good Things as they.
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A jolly young Girl in Hertfordshire,
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Who had lately learnd to dance;
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In less than the Space of one whole Year,
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She light of a Child by Chance.
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Being very poor, this cunning Whore,
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Upon a certain Day,
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Resolved was she the City to see,
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So to London she took her Way.
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With an old Straw Hat, and her Tail pinnd up,
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And with Dirt instead of Fringe;
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Not long ago this cunning Slut
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Did come to the Royal Exchange,
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With the Child in a Basket under her Arm,
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Close covered, as it is said,
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With a clean white Cloth, and at each End
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Hung out a Gooses Head.
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She saw two Stock Jobbers standing by,
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She then unto one did say,
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Gaffer, what stately Church is this?
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Come tell me now I pray:
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The other to her smiling said,
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How like a Fool you talk!
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This is no Church, it is the Change,
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Where all the Merchants walk.
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Is this the Change, good Sir? she said,
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A glorious Place it be;
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A finer Place in all my Life,
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I never before did see:
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Ill warrant you theres fine Chambers int,
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As you and I do live;
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Now if youll let me go and see,
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A Penny to you I will give.
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The one said, Your Basket I will hold,
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And tarry here below,
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Whilst my Consort goes up [wi]th you,
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The Chambers for to shew:
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She answered, I am afraid,
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That when I do come down,
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You will be gone, and I would not lose
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My Basket for a Crown.
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I am not such a Man he said,
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And that Id have you know;
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She gave it him, and with her Guide
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She up the Stairs did go:
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She viewd the Pictures very fine,
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And did them much admire;
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He soon droppd her, she down Stairs run,
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And after him did enquire.
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She straight runs up to a Merchant,
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Good honest Man, said she,
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Did not you see a thick tall Man
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That had two Geese of me?
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Alas! said he, poor Country Girl,
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Our Cocknies are too quick;
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Go home and tell your Country Girls,
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Of this fine London Trick.
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She stampd and cryd, Thus to be bit,
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Would make a Body swear;
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Never to come to the Royal Exchange,
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Any more to to sell their Ware,
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For by a Couple of cheating Knaves,
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Alas! I am undone:
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She gave a Stamp, and laughd aloud,
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And then away she run.
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But now we will to the Jobbers turn,
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Who thought they had got a Prize;
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They stept into an Ale-house,
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And sent for both their Wives:
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They told to them the Story,
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With Hearts both merry and light;
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Said they, We will have a Frolick ont,
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And roast them both at Night.
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The Women cryd, No, one at a Time,
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And the farther they will go,
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The other well have at another House,
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And order the Matter so:
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Thus they began to jangle,
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And got on either Side:
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But all this while the Basket stood,
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Without ever a Knot untyd.
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Then opening of the Basket,
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As I the Truth unfold;
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There did they find a curious Boy,
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Just about five Weeks old.
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The Women flew in a damnable Rage,
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O how they did scold and curse:
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Instead of a Cook, ye Rogue, said they,
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You must run and call a Nurse.
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The one said, This is your Bastard, Sirrah,
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You have had by some common Whore;
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If these be your Geese, ye Rogues, she said,
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I never shall love Geese more:
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The one she kickd the Bottle down,
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The other whippd up the Glass,
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And after she had drank the Beer,
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She threw it and cut his Face.
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There was Helter-skelter, the Devil to pay,
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O how the Pots did fly!
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Just as they were in the Midst of the Fray,
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The Child began to cry:
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There were Clouts and Blankets all beshit,
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Such Sights are seldom seen:
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I hope it will learn them both more Wit,
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How they meddle with Geese again.
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They put it out for three Shillings a Week,
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Which is Eighteen-pence a-piece,
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Which they pay every Saturday Night,
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In Remembrance of the Geese.
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Come, heres a Health to the Country Lass,
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I think she was not to blame;
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If she has but Wit to take Care of her T----t,
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She may pass for a Maid again.
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