The Wine-Cooper's Delight,
To the Tune of, The Delights of the Bottle.
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The Delights of the Bottle are turn'd out of dores,
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by Factious Fanati-cal sons of damn'd Whores.
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French Wines Pro-hi-bicion meant no other thing,
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but to poyson the Subject, and begger the King.
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Good Nature's suggested with Dregs like to choak her,
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of fulsom stum'd Wine by the cursed Wine-Cooper
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Our plaguy Wine-Cooper has tamper'd so much,
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To find out the subtilty of the false Dutch.
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He tinctures prickt White-w[i]ne, that never was good,
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Till it mantles, and sparkles, and looks like Bulls blood;
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But when it declines, and its Spirit[s] expire,
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He adds more Ingredients and makes it look higher.
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His old rotten Pipes, where he keeps all this Trash,
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For fear they should burst, Sir, he hoops them with Ash.
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When the Sophistication begins for to froth,
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And boyls on the Fret, Sir, he wisely pulls forth
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A Tap, which gives vent to the grounds of the Cause,
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And then is to vamp up a second Red Nose.
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Then this dungy Wine-Cooper stops it up again,
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And keeps it unvended till 't's all on a stame.
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The Intelligences then were invented to show,
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Where Wine of strange Vertues in plently did flow.
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People from all parts of the Nation did come,
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Both Lords, Knights and Gentlemen, Doctor and Bum
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The Cooper then pulls the Tap out of his side,
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And drinks to the Elders of all his good Tribe.
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But when they had gusl'd about all their Bowls,
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They found a strange Freedom it gave to their Souls,
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Of secrets in Nature, that never were known,
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It gave Inspiration from Begger to Throne.
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The Second Part to the same Tune.
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For the Cooper himself full Brimmers did draw,
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And all the whole Gang were oblig'd to do so.
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Amongst these Cabals there was no such a thing,
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As a health once propos'd to the Duke or the King.
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But drank to that Idol of Hopes, in their Powers,
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And Sons of most Infamous Hackney old Whores.
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Then the Rabble had notice from Smith and from Ben,
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What a heavenly Liquor was sent amongst men.
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Both Tinkers and Coblers, the Broom-men and Sweep,
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Before this Wine-Cooper in Flocks they did meet;
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And each under foot stampt his old greazy Bonnet,
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To drink M------th's Health, Sir, whatever came on it.
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The Cooper perceiving his Trade to approach,
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He then was resolved once more to debauch.
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To encourage the Rabble, and shew himself stout,
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He pull'd out the Spigot amongst the whole Rout;
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Which kindness provokt them to swear they would bring
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Such Trade to his House as wou'd make him a King.
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A Hat or a Pottle was still at the Tap,
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But Zealots some times laid their Mouths to the Fat.
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They charg'd their brisk Bumpers so many times round,
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Till part of the Mobile sprawl'd on the ground:
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But when this damn'd Liquor was got in their pates,
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They fell to Bumbasting, Disord'ring of States.
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They began to cant Dangers by formal Sedition,
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And swear lawful Allegiance 'gainst lawful Succession.
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When these Propositions began to take Fire,
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They screw'd their Presumptions a hole or two higher:
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But still they keep under Hugh Peterss Cloak,
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To bring in the Devil, to drive out the Pope.
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But then they began for to pick at the Crown,
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Each thinking that he deserv'd one of his own.
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Then all the King's Guards they thought fit to Indict,
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Swear Treason 'gainst all that maintain'd the King's Right.
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Both Papist and Protestant no matter whether,
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They are not of our party, let's hang 'em together.
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Next the chief of our Game is to keep the King poor,
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And our Senators must the Militia secure.
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The Navy and Cinque-Ports we'll have in our hands,
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And then we'l make th'Kingdom obey our Commands:
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Then if Charles do withstand us, we need not to fight,
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To make Eighty one to out-do Forty eight.
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Whatever Objections great Loyallists bring,
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Old Adam liv'd happy without e're a King.
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Then why may not we, that are much wiser than he,
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Subdue the whole World, Sir, by our Sov'reignty?
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If one man alone can keep three Nations under,
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Then why may not we that are Kings without number?
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Right, said the Cooper, and shak'd his old Noddle,
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Three Kingdoms we'l toss, like a Child in a Cradle.
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Stick close to this Liquor which I do prepare,
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'Twill make us as splendid as Noll in his Chair.
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We'l kindle old Plots, by inventing of new,
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Till none shall be safe but the Cooper and You.
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O brave Boys! O brave Boys! the Rabble did rore,
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Tantivies and Tories shall Hector no more;
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By Us they're out-acted, to Us they shall bend,
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Whilst we to our Dignities freely ascend.
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Then they were dead-drunk as the Devil could make 'em,
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And fell fast asleep, as ten Drums could not wake 'em.
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In the Piss and the Spew the poor Cooper did paddle,
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To stop up his Tap, but the Knave was not able.
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For his Limbs like a Tortoise did shrivle and crease,
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Down drops the Wine-Cooper with the other Beasts.
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And there the whole Litter as yet doth abide,
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At the Sign of the Butt, with the Tap in one side.
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