A Jest;
Or, Master Constable.
To the Tune of, the Three Pilgrims.
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A Pretty jest I shall declare,
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Which I not long agoe did hear
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Of one who did intend to jeere,
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Master Constable.
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I hope theres none wil matter make
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Of that that I intend to speake,
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Of a busy man who the place did take.
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Of a Constable.
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For I hope each wise man wiser is,
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Then to think he is touchd in this,
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For thinking so, he thinks amiss,
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Twas a busy Constable.
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For this is but a merry Jest,
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Which will I hope, no man molest,
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For I no grudge beare I protest,
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To any Canstable.
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Then pray you let this poor man pass
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For he for money sings alas,
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Let none then shew himselfe an asse
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Like this Constable.
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He as his Office did direct,
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To set his watch was circumspect
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And nothing therein did neglect,
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Like a Constable.
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Also when any passed by,
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He did examine them strictly,
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Observing with discretions eye,
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A wise Constable.
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At length it chancd that one came neer
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And he demanded who goes there
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You know not (said he without fear
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Master Constable.
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Come hither that I may you see,
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And now what are you shew to me,
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No Man nor Woman replyed he,
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Master Constable.
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Where have you been then asked he
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That you thus crosly answer me,
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Know you not the authority
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Of a constable.
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Yes I know your authority,
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And I have been for certainty,
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Where you would have been glad to be
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Master Constable.
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Then said the Constable, some end,
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Will come hereof, but say my friend,
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Whither to goe doe you intend,
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Why good Constable.
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I am going thither where
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You dare not goe for your right eare
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What you are set upon the jeere
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said the Constable.
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What is your name pray tel me that
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Who dare so boldly to me prate,
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Be briefe, and truth to me relate,
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Said the Constable
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Twenty shillings I am namd
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I thereof need not be ashamd,
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Although by you I may be blamd,
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master Constable
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Sir, that hereafter we shall see
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But in the mean time tell to me,
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Where your dwelling place may be.
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Quoth the Constable
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Out of the Kings dominion I,
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Doe dwell said he assuredly,
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As my Neighbours can testifie,
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master Constables
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But in the Kings dominion you
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Are now my friend, and you shall rue
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That still cross language you renew
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To a Constable.
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The second part to the same Tune.
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I Am at your dispose said he,
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But pray you here this word from me
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You shew your selfe herein to be
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A wise Constable.
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To prison then incontinent,
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The Constable this good man sent
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Although the same he did repent,
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Like a Constable.
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Before a Justice the next day,
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The Constable bore him away,
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And to his Worship thus did say,
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Like a Constable,
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Sir in my Watch the last night I
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This fellow tooke who saucely,
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Jeerd me and my authority,
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Said the Constable.
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Then quoth the Justice, what said he?
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That might to you distastefull be,
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And ile between you judge fairly,
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Master Constable.
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First who goes there was ask[']d by me
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You cannot tell replyed he,
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And thus he did begin crosly,
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Said the Constable,.
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Come before my authority
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And now what are you tell to me,
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No Man nor Woman replyed he,
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Said the Constable.
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Where have you been then I enquird
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Where you to be would have desird
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Thus I againe by him was jeerd,
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Said the Constable.
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Weither goe you? then said I
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And he still crosly did reply
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Where for my ears I durst not be,
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Said the Constable.
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What is your name sir tell to me,
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Twen[t]y shillings replyed he
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[Deem you t]hese answers fit to be,
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Give[n to] a Constable.
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I aske[d] his dwelling place also,
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And he this answer did bestow
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Out of the Kings dominion know,
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Quoth the Constable.
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But when he saw jde him convey,
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To prison untill the next day,
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You are quoth he I needs must say,
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A wise Constable.
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you my complaint have heard said he
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Now pray you judge twixt him & me
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That I may satisfied be,
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being a Constable.
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Then said the Justice was not he,
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In drink that he thus answered thee,
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If so, that might the reason be,
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Master Constable.
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No, in your Worship I doe vow
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He was as sober as we are now,
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And therefore doe no favour shew,
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Said the Constable.
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Then said the Justice what say you,
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Is this that he alledges true,
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If; how durst you such carriage shew,
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Toward a Constable.
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Sir I speake truth, first he askd who
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Goes there, I said he did not know,
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If he had he would let me goe,
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Like a Constable.
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And I am a Taylor by my Trade,
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Who are no men by the proverb made,
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Nor am I a Woman jle perswade
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Master Constable.
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Then next he asked of me where
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I had been; which was at good cheer
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And youd as gladly have been there,
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Master Constable.
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And I was agoing thus I sed,
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where you durst not go for your head
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For it was with my wife to bed.
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Master Constable.
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And sir, Marke Noble is my name,
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And in your ears I dare proclaime,
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That twenty shilling is the same,
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Master Constable.
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The King of great Brittain is King
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as fame throughout the world doth ring
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But in little Brittain is my dwelling,
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Master Constable.
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and I pray your worship further here
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If I in any thing did erre
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It was that I did him prefer,
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For a wise Constable.
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And sir he ought give me content;
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Both for my wrong imprisonment,
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And loss of time with money spent,
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Through the Constable.
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Then said the Justice good sir heare
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This man makes al his words apear
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To be the truth, and not a jeere
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Master Constable,
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And you have been too much to blame
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To take away thu[s] his good name,
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And tis fit you pay for the same
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Master Constable.
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You said that he was not in drinke
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And therefore come lay down your chink
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It is in vaine backward to shrink
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Master Constable.
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To pay his charges I you enjoyne,
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And a French crown for loss of time
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And friendly drink a pint of Wine.
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So farwell Constable.
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which done the man went merily home
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His wife rejoycd to see him come,
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Where he to her told the whole summ,
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Of the Constable.
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Thus of this Constable I end,
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Desiring favour of each Friend,
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For what in mirth by me is pend
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Of this Constable.
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But if theres any fault doth find,
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Such men they have a guilty mind,
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Or too too busy are inclind
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Like this Constable.
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