A Caution for SCOLDS:
OR,
A True way of Taming a SHREW.
To the Tune of, Why are my Eyes still flowing. This may be Printed, R. P.
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A Noble Man he Marryd with a cruel Scold,
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Who in her humours would ner be contrould,
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So that he was almost aweary of his Life,
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By the cross humours of his froward Wife:Although he showd himself exceeding kind,
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Yet she was still of a turbulent mind;
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Husband and Servants her Fury must feel,For in their Ears she would Ring them a Peal.
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When any Friend approachd the presence of her Lord,
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By this vile Shrew they were strangely abhord;
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With cruel Frowns and Railings she would them salute
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Tho they were Persons of worthy Repute,
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All was a case, for she wou[l]d have her Will,
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And the whole House with Confusion shed fill;
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So that for fear of the heat of her Fray,
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They have been forcd to run packing away.
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It was his chance to make a worthy noble Feast,
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Inviting full forty couple at least,
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Both Lords & Earls, with vertuous Ladies of high fame,
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Who in true Friendship accordingly came:
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All sorts of Dainties he then did prepare,
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No cost nor c[h]arge in the least did he spare;
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But e[]re they could to their Banquetting fall,
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Sirs, you shall hear how she welcomd them all.
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When she beheld the costly Dishes of rich Meat,
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This Shrew had not any Stomach to Eat,
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But did cry out, I shall be Ruind at this rate,
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This is enough to consume an Estate:
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Before she any more words did reply,
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She made both Bottles and Dishes to flye;
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Both Friends and Husband she there did abuse,
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Asking him how he dare be so profuse?
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Like Thunder loud, her voice she straight began to raise,
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Which made the Guest to stand all in amaze,
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Who never saw the like in all their lives before,
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Dishes of Meat they lay strowd on the floor:
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Thus in disorder they all went their way,
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Each one was glad they were out of the fray:Then said her Husband, did ever Man know,
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Any poor Mortal so plagud with a Shrow.
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Now the next day he to a skilful Doctor went,
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Promising that he would give him content,
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If he could cure the cause of a Distracted Wife,
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Which almost made him aweary of Life:
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Yes, quoth the Doctor, ile do it ner fear,
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Bring her, for now tis the Spring of the Year;
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Ile take the Lunacy out of her Brains,
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Or else I wont have a Groat for my pains.
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Then home he went, and sent her thither out of hand,
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Now when the Shrow she did well understand
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All their intent, she ca[l]ld the Doctor sneaking Knave,
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Now when he see she began for to Rave;
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Straightways the Doctor did bind her in Bed,
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Leting her Blood, likewise Shaving her Head:Sirrah, said she, I would have you to know,
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That you shall suffer for serving me so.
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Madam, said he, I know you are beside your Wits,
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But I will soon bring you out of those Fits;
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Ile cut your Tongue, and when a Gallon you have bled
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Twill Cure that violent Noise in your Head:Pray Sir, said she, dont afflict me so sore,
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Ile ner offend my sweet Husband no more:Thus by sharp Usage and keeping her low,
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He had the fortune to Conquer the Shrow.
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After some time, he came to see his Wife at last,
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Where she beggd pardon for all that was past;
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Saying, her Fits for evermore she would refrain,
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If hed be pleasd to receive her again;
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My former Follies I pray now forgive,
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Ile ner offend you no more while I live:
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Then in much love they both homeward did go,
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Thus has he made a sweet Wife of a Shrow.
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