[?] Gloucestershire, Doctor of. (For a perfect copy See
vol. 3. p. 206.)
[?]
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I Will perswade him thus and say,
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Last time that you together lay,
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the Moon it was Eclipsed strange,
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And nature did her courses change,
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Mars by Dame Venus was beguild,
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And so your wife got you with child.
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this bargain made brought much content
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Home in all haste the farmer went;
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And told his wife so strange a tale,
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As made her Countenance look pale:
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Dear wife quoth he I am perplext,
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Never was man before so vext.
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I am incumbered with great pains,
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from top to toe through all my veins;
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My back and sides grieve me so sore,
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Such pains I never felt before:
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But yet the greatest pain I tell ye,
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Lies rumbling up & down my belly.
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Husband quoth she I can you tell,
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Of one that soon can make you well,
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He cures as I do understand,
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All diseases tha[t] he takes in hand;
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And if you pleas[?] have it so,
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Ile to him with y[o]ur water go.
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Next mornin[g] with a good intent,
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the good-wife[to] the Doctor went:
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and shews to h[i]m her Husbands water,
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Now mark th[e] jest that follows after:
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Cox body quoth [t]he Doctor mild,
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thy Husband sur[e]ly is with Child
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the woman she w[a]s much amaz[]d,
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And on the Doct[or] strangely gazd;
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Good Sir in kinness now tell me,
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How such thin[g]s in a man may be?
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I will, quoth he[,] make you no doubt,
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And time at l[a]st will bring it out.
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When Luna last was in the Eclips,
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You with your Husband joined Lips
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Then Jupiter being wrapt in thunder,
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turnd Venus up while Mars lay under
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By which Conjunction well I wot,
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Your husband then with child was got.
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Alas, alas, then said his wife,
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Is there no means to save his life?
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I would not for a thousand pound,
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My husband he should fall to th Ground,
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Faith quoth the Doctor there is none,
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No ways to save his life but one.
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Kind loving Sir, then answered she,
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If you will be so good to me,
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to te[l]l how I his life may save,
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Ill give whatever you will have:
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No cost nor pains that I will spare,
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to save his life whom I love so dear:
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But first quod he, ile have you swear,
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And also have a special care,
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to let no body know while you live,
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What Physick he is to receive;
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She straightway bound it with an Oath,
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Ile keep your Counsel by my troth.
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then mark me well whats to be done,
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Each night hour setting of the Sun,
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His Supper then you must provide,
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Of Eggs, and some choice meats beside:
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And for to strengthen his we[a]k back
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You must give him a pint of Sack.
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Which being done, put him to bed,
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and lay soft Pillows under his head;
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then make for him a Posset fine,
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With Sugar and sweet muskadine;
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Commixt with Cinnamon and mace,
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And let him swallow it down apace.
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When he hath slept an hour or twain,
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then you must come to him again,
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And bring with you a lusty maid,
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which to his belly must be laid:
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So let them merrily sleep together,
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and lovingly embrace each other.
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this course you must for 3 weeks take,
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And then be sure that it will make,
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the pain too from his back and side,
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the maid the torment shall abide,
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And afterwards in little space,
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She will bring forth a babe of Grace.
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And when the maid is brought to bed,
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Your self must lie down in her stead;
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And because nothing must be known,
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Folks must believe the Childs your own,
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Be sure to take this course said he,
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So shall your Husband cared be.
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the woman having heard this news,
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Ran home in haste how could she chuse
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Where she did see her husband lie,
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Like one just ready for to die:
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then presently she did unfold,
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All that the Doctor had her told.
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Alas quoth he such pangs I have,
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there is no means my life to save;
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Unless you do a Posset make,
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to cure my belly of the ake:
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Wherefore the woman out of hand
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Did as the Doctor did command.
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A Supper of most dainty meat
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She made him ready for to eat;
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And because he should no Physick lack,
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She after Supper gave him Sack;
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then kept him warm within his bed,
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And with sweet Posset she him fed.
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this being done, with Cupids aid,
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She got the good-will of her maid,
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to lye and keep her master warm,
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and said he should do her no harm,
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the maid at first seemd loath to do,
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But at the last yiel[d]ed thereto.
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And as the Doctor did [f]or[e]tell,
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So every thing in order fell,
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the maid in time was brought to bed,
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the good wife lay down in her stead:
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the man was of his burthen easd,
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the child at Nurse, and all are pleasd.
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You that these verses hear or read,
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If of this Doctor you stand in need,
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Enquire him out where he doth dwell,
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And surely he will use you well,
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Hel give you Physick to your mind,
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So that your purses be well lind.
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