A Womans Birth,
OR
A perfect relation more witty then common,
Set forth to declare the descent of a Woman.
To a pleasant new tune.
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THere is a certaine kind of idle Creature,
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The which by foolish name, we call a woman:
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I could fall out and rayle upon dame Nature,
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That ere she framd such creatures to undoe man,
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Many have wondered how it came to passe,
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But note, and I will tell you how it was.
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When Nature first brought forth her son and heire,
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The Gods came all one day to gossip with her,
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Her husband Hymen glad to see them there,
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Dranke healths apace to bid them welcome thither,
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Till drunke, to bed he went, and in that fit,
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He got the second birth a femall chit.
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The privy Counsell of the heavens and Planets,
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Whose Counsell governes all affaires on earth:
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They held a consultation in their Senats,
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What should become of this prodigious birth:
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These strange effects, and correspondent qualities,
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Which are brought forth by course, & by formalities.
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Saturne gave Sullennesse, Jove Soveraignty,
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Mars suddaine Wrath, and unappeased hate,
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Phoebus a garish looke and wandring Eye,
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Venus Desire, and Lust insatiate,
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Mercury Craft, and deep dissembling gave her,
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Luna unconstant Thoughts, still apt to waver.
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Juno the wife of Jove, gave Jealousie,
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A pettish Anger, and revengefull spirit,
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In which she will persist perpetually,
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As if her soule could boast no other merit:
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Though Love at first beare rule in her supremely,
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Wanting her wil thers none hates more extremely.
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Flora bestowd upon her cheeke, a hue
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Of red and white, to make her feature pleasant,
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That she the easier might the heart subdue,
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Of King, Prince, Courtier, Cittizen or Peasant,
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But he that trusts her faith, it is so slacke,
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Her red and white to willow turnes, and blacke.
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Scornefull Diana did her mind inspire
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With cruell Coynesse, and obdurate Passions,
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That man might thinke her soule had most desire,
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Still to live single, without alterations,
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When heaven knows tis but her pride of mind,
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That thinkes none good enough to court her kind.
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The second part, to the same tune.
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THus qualified, into the world was brought,
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This strang & uncought piece of earth calld wo-man,
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Nature afraid her husband should have thought
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That she had plaid the whore, or beene too common,
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Besought Lucina from old Hymens sight,
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Close to convey it unto Venus bright.
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Where being brought by Venus she did learne
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To use loose gestures with her hand and eye,
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With fained sighs, false teares, not to discerne,
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And divers such loose tricks of Levity,
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Lisping of kisses, smilings, and such fits,
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As well might drive a kind man from his wits.
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Venus well skilld and apt to make escape,
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Sent it to be brought up among the Fayries,
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Thus finding it to prove a pretty Ape,
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Wanton and merry, full of mad fegaries,
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She brought it home and gave it to her son,
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To be his playmate and companion.
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Mulciber envying that his wife had got,
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A nurcery contrary to his mind,
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He calld the Cyclopes, and with fire hot
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They forgd her heart (just to its proper kind)
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Of steele, ith fashion of an Anvill hard,
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That should no fire nor stroakes a whit regard.
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Phaeton that while assuming Phoebus seate,
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Ith time ofs Raigne, imparted to this brat,
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Mischievous fancies and a proud conceit,
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That should desire to doe she knows not what,
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And that donation did her so inspire,
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If wishes might prevayle, the world shed fire.
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The winged Child no sooner did espy her,
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But he enamourd of her feature grew,
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The god of Love himselfe was set on fire,
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And needs would change his mother for a new:
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If she on Lovs great power can worke such rape,
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How shall his subjects with their weaknesse scape?
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He prankt it up in Fardingals and Muffs,
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In Masks, Rebatos Shapperowns, and Wyers,
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In paintings, powdrings, Perriwigs and Cuffes,
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In Dutch, Italian, Spanish, French attires:
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Thus was it born brought forth & made Loves baby,
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And this is that which now we call a Lady.
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But you yong men to whom she may be sent,
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Take some advisement ere you entertaine her,
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Pray use her kindly for her high descent,
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Courting and kissing is the way to gaine her,
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If she love true, Ile speake this in her praise,
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Each houre sheele blesse the number of your dayes.
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