Here is an Item for you.
Or, The Countrimans bill of charges, for his comming up to London
Declared by a Whistle. To the tune of King Henry, etc.
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DIogenes that laughd to see
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a Mare once eate a Thistle,
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Would surely smile and laugh the while,
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to heare me sing my whistle,
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For now, tis meant wee must invent,
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a silent way of ringing,
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And so for feare lest some should heare,
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must whistle stead of singing,
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With a hay downe, with a ho downe,
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With a hay downe, downe, downe, derry,
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since that wee may
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nor sing, nor say,
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Weele whistle and be merry,
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A Country-man to London came
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to view the famous Citie,
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And here his charge did grow so large,
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it made me write this Dittie,
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For in a Bill he set downe still,
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his charge from the beginning,
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Which I did find, and now doe mind,
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to whistle stead of singing,
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With a hay downe, etc.
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Imprimis, comming unto towne,
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and at my Inne alighting
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I almost spent a noble crowne
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in potting and in piping,
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Item, that the Tapster there
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my Jugges halfe full did bring in,
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I dare not say he was a R.
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but Ile whistle stead of singing.
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With a hay downe, etc.
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Item, that I went abroad,
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and had my purse soone picked,
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While I did stare on London ware,
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by a Pick-purse I was fitted.
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Item, that I met a wench,
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that put me downe in drinking,
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I dare not say what she made me pay,
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but Ile whistle stead of singing.
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With a hay downe, etc:
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Item, that I met withall
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a very loving Cosen,
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Who needs would bee of my Countrey
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and gave me halfe a dozen,
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And at the last a pare of Cards
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they cunningly did bring in,
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I will not say what they made me pay
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but Ile whistle stead of singing,
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With a hay downe, with a ho downe,
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With a hay downe, downe, downe, derry,
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since that we may,
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nor sing nor say.
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Weele whistle and be merry,
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Item, that I daily went
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unto my Lawyers Chamber,
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And hee did say I should win the day,
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without all feare or danger,
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But then at last, for charge and cost,
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he such a Bill did bring in,
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I will not say, what he made me pay,
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but Ile whistle stead of singing,
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With a hey downe, etc.
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Item, that I payed there, for
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a bagpipe in a bottle,
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Which did begin to hisse and sing
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when we did stirre the stople.
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Item, that one night I did lye
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in the Counter for my drinking,
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I will not say, what I paid next day
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but Ile whistle in stead of singing.
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With a hey downe, etc.
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Item, that at last I came
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to take my horse againe,
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But my poore horse lookt never worse,
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his belly did complaine,
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For he alas for want of hay,
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stood ore the manger grinning,
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Yet they made me pay for night and day
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but Ile whistle stead of singing.
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With a hey downe, etc.
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The Country-mans going downe into the Country,
Declared by a whistle. To the same tune.
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THus having got from London once,
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he rid full heavy hearted,
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For like an honest man he had
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from all his mony parted.
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His Cloake-bag full of papers was,
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in stead of money gingling,
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I dare not bost what those papers cost,
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but Ile whistle stead of singing.
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With a hay downe, with a ho downe,
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With a hay downe, downe, downe, derry
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since that we may
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nor sing, nor say,
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Weele whistle and be merry.
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Imprimis, comming home, he found,
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his good wife Joane a brewing,
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And did not deferre but unto her
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his papers fell to shewing.
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But when she saw, nothing but law,
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she fell to scold and slinging,
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But all that day he kept away,
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and whistled stead of singing.
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With a hay downe, etc.
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Item, then he went to plough
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which whiles that he was driving
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Alas sayes he what fooles are we,
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in law to fall a striving,
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For now (meane to keepe my teeme,
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which shall good profit bring in,
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I must drive on my moneys gone,
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and whistle stead of singing.
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With a hey downe, etc.
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Item, that his neighbour came
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to aske what newes at London,
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Alas sayes he, more wiser be,
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for feare that you be undone.
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Spend not at Terme what you doe erne,
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whilst that your wives are spinning,
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Which makes me now to drive the plough,
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and whistle stead of singing.
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with hey downe, etc.
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For be it knowne unto you all,
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that I my money spended
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Such fooles as I will beggers dye
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before their lives are ended.
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Therefore beware and have more care
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when that your monys gingling,
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Least when tis spent you doe repent
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and whistle stead of singing.
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With a hay downe, etc.
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For I so many Items had,
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yet could not I beware,
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For this and that and I know not what,
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this Item brings my care,
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Yet let this be to all of you,
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an Item which I bring in,
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Lest money spent makes you repent,
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and whistle stead of singing,
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With a hay downe, etc.
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Yet one more Item I will add
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since that my song is ended
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My Items this, that I would wish,
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no man to be offended,
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With all my Items but to save,
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his money when tis gingling,
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Least when tis spent, he doe repent,
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and whistle stead of singing,
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With a hay downe, with a ho downe,
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With a hay downe, downe, downe, derry,
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since that we may
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nor sing, nor say,
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Weele whistle and be merry.
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