Halfe a dozen of good Wives.
All for a penny.
Kind Cozens or Country-men what ere you be,
If you want a good penny-worth, come buy it of me,
Sixe Wives for a penny, a young one or old,
A cleanely good huswife, a Slut or a Scold.
To the tune of, The cleane contraryway.
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IF any standers by
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that leads a single life,
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Desirous be of marriage,
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and faine would have a Wife,
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Unto the signe of Fortune,
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let him forthwith repaire,
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And either she or I will helpe
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such customers to ware;
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For in my time I have
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made proofe of halfe a dozen,
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And if thou hast a mind untot,
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come take one honest Cozen,
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oh come take her honest Cozen.
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The first of all my Wives
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did prove so crosse a Dame.
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What ere I said she still would doe
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contrary to the same,
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She is so obstinate,
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that she must have her will.
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And let me doe the best I can,
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she will be Master still:
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Oh this was my good Wife,
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the best, etc.
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Besides all these good parts,
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shas humours five or sixe,
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Though I please her nere so well at home,
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shel play the meretrixe,
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For if my backe be turnd,
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abroad she straight must gad,
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And to be briefe she is so crosse,
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as I am ene horne-mad:
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O this was my first Wife,
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the best, etc.
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The second wife I had,
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was not so light as she,
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But yet she had I speake to her praise,
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as rare a quality.
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A thrifty Dame she was,
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which provd her greatest fault,
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She let the Maggots crawle ith meat,
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to save the charge of Salt:
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Oh this was my good Wife,
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the best of the halfe dozen, etc.
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And when she went to Market,
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good penny worths she bought,
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The cheapst she laid her hands upon,
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she alwayes with her brought,
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But if that I dislikd
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what she had done that day,
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Sheed keepe the best untill it stunke,
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and throw the rest away:
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O this was my good Wife,
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the best, etc.
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The third was some what cleanely,
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but yet a drunken Sot,
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Sheed pawne all things for Ale and Beere,
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what ever she had got,
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Shee scarce would leave a smocke,
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or shooe unto her foot,
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But at the Alehouse all these went,
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and some what else to boot:
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O this was my good Wife,
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the best of the halfe dozen,
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And if thourt weary of a single life,
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Then take her honest Cozen,
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O then take her honest Cozen.
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The second part. To the same Tune.
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BUt yet she had skill in spinning,
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with her the world runs on wheeles:
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On any ground where ere she comes,
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she cannot stand, but reeles:
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And yet but once a weeke
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with drinke shees overtaine,
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Which lasteth still from Sunday night,
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till Sunday come againe.
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Oh this was my good wife,
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the best of the halfe dozen,
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And if thart wearie of a single life,
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then take her honest cosen,
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oh then take her honest cosen.
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The fourth good Wife of mine
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was wondrous carefull bent,
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She had a care of the maine-chance,
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to see how all things went:
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She never would be quiet,
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if from her sight I were,
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For feare lest I should spend it all,
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and she not have a share.
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Oh this was my good wife,
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the best, etc.
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And if unto a Taverne
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without her I had gone,
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She would be there as soone as I,
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Oh twas a loving one.
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And for my ill husbandry
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sheed keepe a pittious coyle,
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And call me Rogue and Cuckold too:
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but what was she the while?
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I thinke one of my Aunts,
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the best, etc.
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The fifth was a good old woman,
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and had great care of mee:
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How could she chuse? for by her age
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she might my Grandham bee,
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And though I say it my selfe,
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she stood me in great stead,
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I durst trust her in any place,
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and never feare my head:
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O this was one of my wives,
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the best, etc.
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Yet if I chancd to kisse,
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or on a young wench lookt;
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You would not thinke poore harmles soule,
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how pitiously she tookt:
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For often times shed blame me,
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that I abroad should rome,
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And love another, when I had,
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so good a piece at home:
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O this was my good wife,
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the best, etc.
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But oh the last of all,
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she had an excellent tongue,
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Which is the rarest property,
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that does to a woman belong:
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And if I had but vext her,
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she usd her tongue so well,
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As when she to the purpose spake,
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it sounded like a Bell:
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O this was my good Wife,
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the best, etc.
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She was so good a wife,
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I must praise her againe;
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For she excelled all the Scolds,
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that dwell in Turne-agen Lane:
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I speake as I have felt her,
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for shee bangd me once so sore,
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As I have vowd ere since that time,
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never to marry more.
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But here doe leave my wives,
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in number halfe a dozen,
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And for a penny will sell all,
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then take them honest cozen,
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oh then take them honest cozen.
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And now good women all,
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whosoever heares this Song,
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I doe no private person taxe,
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to doe them any wrong.
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But if you take exceptions,
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the thorne you know will pricke,
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And if you touch a galld Horse backe,
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the Proverbe sayes heel kicke.
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For I make mention of
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no lesse than halfe a dozen:
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Then whosoere is angry now,
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will prove my honest cozen,
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oh will prove my honest cozen.
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