Doctor Dogoods directions,
To cure many diseases both in body and minde, lately written and
set forth for the good of infected persons.
To the tune of The Golden age.
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IF any are infected, give audience a while,
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Such Physick Ile teach you, shal make you to smile,
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It is wholsome and toothsome, and free from all guile,
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Which shall breed good blood, and bad humors exile.
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Although it may seeme most strange,
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Yet this is most true and strange.
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If any man be troubled with uncomely long hayre,
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Which on his fooles forehead unseemly doth stare,
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I have a medicine will cure him, to prove it I dare,
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Let him take a Razor and shave his head bare,
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is a wonderfull change.
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If any be troubled with an idle drousie head,
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Whose chiefest delight is to sleepe in his bed,
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With glutting his stomack this folly first bred,
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Let him fall to his worke, and be slenderly fed,
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If any man be troubled with a very shallow brayne,
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Whose giddy apprehension can no wisedom attaine,
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If he will be eased of this kinde of paine,
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Strong Beere and hot waters then let him refraine,
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If any man be troubled with a fiery hot nose,
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Which in midst of cold winter is as red as a Rose,
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It proceeds from drinking old Sack, I suppose,
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Small Beere and fayre water, let him drink none but those.
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If any man be troubled with outragious teeth,
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Which eat up his riches, and make him play the theef,
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If he will be cured of this kinde of griefe,
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Let him sow up his lips, and he shall finde releese,
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And this is a cure most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If a woman be troubled with a tatling tongue,
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Whose too much vaine babling her neighbours doth wrong
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I judge for her mouth its something too long,
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Therefore she must cut short while she is yong,
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And she shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If a man have light fingers that he cannot charme,
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Which will pick mens pockets, and do such like harm,
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He must be let bloud, in a scarfe beare his arme,
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And drink the herbe Grace in a possit luke warme,
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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The second part. To the same tune.
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IF a man with false dealing hath infected his breast,
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Or hath no good motion in his bosome possest,
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Two handfull of honesty he must eat at the least,
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And hate all vaine glory, and falshood detest,
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If any mayd be sick of the sullen disease,
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Or grown out of temper that none can her please,
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She must be kept fasting the space of three dayes,
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And no man speak to her whatsoever she sayes,
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And she shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If any man be troubled with a false hollow heart,
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To cure such a fellow exceedeth my Art,
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But yet my good counsell to him Ile impart,
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Let him take heed he rides not to Tyburn in a Cart,
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For then heele be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If a mayd be infected with the falling away,
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Which proceeds from a longing desire some say,
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If she will be preserved and kept from decay,
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She must get her a husband without all delay,
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And she shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If a man have an ach in his bones at any tide,
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That to do any labour he cannot abide,
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With the oyle of old Holly annoynt well his side,
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And he shall be cured, this thing hath been tride,
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And it is a cure most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If a man have a conscience that doth him torment,
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If it be for sinne, then let him repent,
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He must be right sorry for the time he mispent,
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And drink brinish teares when his heart doth relent,
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If any mans knees are grown stiffe and so sore,
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That he cannot kneele downe to pray any more,
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His heart is right stony, it is fitting therefore
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He get grace and mercy heavens name to adore,
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And he shall be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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If a man be troubled with exceeding light toes,
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Which will run to the Alehouse in spight of his nose,
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If he spend all his mony his credit to lose,
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He shall in close prison be cast by his foes,
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And then heele be cured most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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Now you that reap profit by the fruit of my quill,
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Give thanks to the Doctor that taught you this skill,
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For sure he deserveth praise for his good will,
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That taught you this Physick your minds to fulfill,
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For this is a thing most strange,
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O this is most true and strange.
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