Clods Carroll: or, A proper new Jigg, to be sung Dialogue
wise, of a man and a woman that would needs be married.
To a pleasant new Tune.
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Man. NOw in the Garden
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are we well met,
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To crave our promise,
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for promise is a debt.
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Wom Come sit thee down all by my side,
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and when that thou art set,
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say what thou will unto mee.
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M. Shew me unfaignedly,
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and tell me thy mind,
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For one may have a yong wench
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that is not over-kind.
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W. Seeke all the world for such a one,
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then hardly shall you find
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a Love of such perfection.
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M. This single life is wearisome,
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faine would I marry:
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But feare of ill chusing
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makes me to tarry:
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Some sayes that flesh is flexible,
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and quickly it will vary.
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W. Its very true, God mend them.
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M. Why speakst thou ill of women,
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sith thou thy selfe art one?
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W. Would all the rest were constant
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save I my selfe alone.
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M. Faith, good or bad, or howsoere,
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I cannot live alone,
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but needs I must bee married.
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W. To marry with a yong wench,
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sheel make thee poore with pride:
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To marry with one of middle age,
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perhaps she hath beene tryd:
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To marry with an old one,
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to freeze by fire side;
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both old and young are faulty.
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M. Ile marry with a yong wench,
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of beauty and of wit.
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W. It is better tame a yong Colt,
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without a curbing bit.
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M. But she will throw her rider downe.
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W. I true, he cannot sit.
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when Fillies fall a wighing.
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M. Ile marry one of middle age,
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for she will love me well.
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W. But if her middle much be usd,
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by heaven and by hell;
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Thou shalt find more griefes
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than thousand tongues can tell:
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Ah, silly man, God helpe thee.
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M. Ile marry with an old wench,
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that knowes not good from bad.
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W. But once within a fortnight
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sheel make her husband mad.
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M. Beshrew thee for thy counsell,
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for thou hast made me sad:
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but needs I must be married.
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W. To marry with a young wench,
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me thinkes it were a blisse:
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To marry one of middle age,
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it were not much amisse.
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Ide marry one of old age,
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and match where money is;
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theres none are bad in chusing.
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M. Then thou for all thy saying,
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commendst the single life.
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W. I, freedome is a popish
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banishment of strife.
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M. Hold thy tongue fond woman,
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for I must have a wife.
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W. A Cuckold in reversion.
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When you are once married
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all one whole yeare,
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Tell me of your fortune,
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and meet with mee here:
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To thinke upon my counsell
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thou wilt shed many a teare;
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till which time I will leave thee.
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M. Were I but assured,
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and of a Beggars lot,
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Still to live in misery,
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and never worth a groat,
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To have my head well furnished
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as any horned Goat;
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for all this would I marry.
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Farewell you lusty Batchelors,
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to marriage I am bent:
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When I have tryd what marriage is,
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Ile tell you the event;
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And tell the cause, if cause there be,
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wherein I doe repent,
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that ever I did marry.
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FINIS.
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The second part, To the same tune.
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W Good-morrow to this new married man,
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how doest thou fare?
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M. As one quite marrd with marriage,
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consumd and killd with care:
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Would I had tane thy counsell.
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W. But thou wouldst not beware.
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M. Alas, it was my fortune.
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W. What griefe doth most oppresse thee?
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may I request to know?
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M. That I have got a wanton.
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W. But is she not a shrow?
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M. Shees any thing that evill is,
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but I must not say so.
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W. For feare that I should flout thee.
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M. Indeed to mocke at misery,
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would adde unto my griefe.
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W. But I will not torment thee,
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but rather lend reliefe:
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And therefore in thy marriage,
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tell me what woes are chiefe;
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good counsell yet may cure thee.
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W. Is not thy huswife testy,
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too churlish and too sowre?
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M. The devill is not so waspish,
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shees never pleasd an hower.
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W. Canst thou not tame a devill?
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lies it not in thy power?
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M. Alas I cannot conjure.
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W. What, goeth she not a gossiping,
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to spend away thy store?
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M. Doe what I can, I promise you,
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shees ever out of dore;
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That were I nere so thrifty,
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yet she would make me poore:
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woes me I cannot mend it.
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W. How goeth shee in apparell?
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delights she not in pride?
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M. No more than Birds doe bushes,
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or harts the river side.
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Witnesse to that, her looking-glasse,
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where shee hath stood in pride
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a whole fore-noone together.
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W. How thinkst thou? was she honest,
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and loyall to thy bed?
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M. I thinke her legs doe fall away,
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for spring time keeping head.
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And were not hornes invisible,
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I warrant you I were sped
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with broad browed Panthers.
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W. Thy griefe is past recovery,
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no salve will help but this:
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To take thy fortune patiently,
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and brooke her wh[a]t she is.
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Yet many things amended are,
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that have beene long amisse,
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and so in time may she be.
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M. I cannot stay here longer,
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my wife or this doth stay:
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And he thats bound as I am bound,
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perforce must needs obey.
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W. Then farewell to thee new married man,
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since you will needs away;
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I can but grieve thy fortune.
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M. All you that be at libertie,
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and would be void of strife:
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I speake it on experience,
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nere venture on a wife.
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For if you match, you will be matcht
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to such a weary life,
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that you will all repent you.
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FINIS.
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