The Cooper of Norfolke:
OR,
A pretty Jest of a Brewer and the Coopers Wife: And how the Cooper ser-
ved the Brewer in his kind. To the tune of, The Wiving Age.
|
ATtend my Masters, and listen well
|
Unto this my Ditty, which briefly doth tell
|
Of a fine merry Jest which in Norfolke befell:
|
A brave lusty Cooper in that Countie did dwell,
|
And there he cryd Worke for a Cooper,
|
Maids haye any worke for a Cooper?
|
This Cooper he had a faire creature tos wife,
|
Which a Brewer ith Towne lovd as deare as his life,
|
And she had a tricke, which in some wives is rife:
|
She still kept a sheath for another mans knife,
|
And often cornuted the Cooper,
|
While he cryd, More worke for a Cooper.
|
It hapned one morning the Cooper out went,
|
To worke for his living it was his intent:
|
He trusted his house to his wives government,
|
And left her in bed to her owne hearts content,
|
While he cryd, What worke for a Cooper,
|
Maids haye any worke for a Cooper?
|
And as the Cooper was passing along,
|
Still crying and calling his old wonted song,
|
The Brewer, his rivall, both lustie and yong,
|
Did thinke now or never to doe him some wrong,
|
And lie with the wife of the Cooper,
|
Who better lovd him than the Cooper.
|
So calling the Cooper, hee to him did say,
|
Goe home to my house, and make no delay,
|
I have so much worke as thou canst doe to day:
|
What ever thou earnest, Ile bountifully pay.
|
These tidings well pleased the Cooper,
|
Oh, this was brave newes for the Cooper.
|
Away went the Cooper to thhouse of the Brewer,
|
Who seeing him safe at his worke to indure:
|
Thought he, now for this day the Cooper is sure,
|
Ile goe to his wife, her green-sicknesse to cure:
|
Take heed of your forehead, good Cooper,
|
For now I must worke for the Cooper.
|
So straight waies he went to the Coopers dwelling,
|
The goodwife to give entertainment was willing,
|
The Brewer & she like two pigeons were billing:
|
And what they did else they have bound mee from telling:
|
He pleased the wife of the Cooper,
|
Who better lovd him than the Cooper.
|
But marke how it happened now at the last,
|
The sun-shine of pleasure was soone over-past;
|
The Cooper did lacke one ofs Tooles, and in haste
|
He came home to fetch it, and found the doore fast:
|
Wife, open the doore, quoth the Cooper,
|
And let in thy husband the Cooper.
|
Now when the goodwife and the Brewer did heare
|
The Cooper at doore, affrighted they were:
|
The Brewer was in such a bodily feare,
|
That for to hide himselfe he knew not where,
|
To shun the fierce rage of the Cooper,
|
He thought he should die by the Cooper.
|
The good wife perceiving his wofull estate,
|
She having a subtill and politicke pate,
|
She suddenly whelmd downe a great brewing Fat,
|
And closely she coverd the Brewer with that:
|
Then after shee let in the Cooper,
|
Whats under this Tub? quoth the Cooper.
|
|
|
|
|
The second Part, To the same Tune.
|
SHe hearing her husband that question demand,
|
She thought it was time to her tackling to stand:
|
Take heed how you move it, quod she, with your hand,
|
For theres a live Pig was sent by a friend:
|
Oh, let it alone, good Cooper:
|
Thus she thought to couzen the Cooper.
|
Is it a Sow pig, the Cooper did say?
|
Let me havt to my Supper: the good wife said nay,
|
It is six, a Bore-pig, quoth she, by my fay:
|
Tis for my owne diet, twas givn me to day:
|
It is not for you, John Coop[er,]
|
Then let it alone, John Cooper.
|
I would it were in thy belly, quoth John,
|
Indeed, quoth the goodwife, so it shall be anon:
|
What, ere I do with it, faith thou shalt have none.
|
Why standst thou here prating? I prethee be gone,
|
Make haste to thy worke, John Cooper,
|
Worse meats good enough for a Cooper.
|
Cannot a good wife have a bit now and than,
|
But there must be notice tane by the good man:
|
Ile havt to my dinner, sir, doe what you can:
|
It may be I long to have all or none:
|
Then prethee content thy selfe Cooper,
|
Oh goe to thy worke, John Cooper.
|
The Cooper mistrusted some knaverie to be
|
Hid under the brewing Fat, and therefore hee
|
Was fully resolvd, for his mind-sake, to see.
|
Alas, thought the Brewer, now woe be to me,
|
Oh what shall I say to the Cooper?
|
I would I were gone from the Cooper.
|
You whore, quod the Cooper, is this your Bore-pig?
|
He has beene well fed, for hees growne very big:
|
Ile either of him have an arme or a leg;
|
Ile make him unable his taile for to wrig
|
Before he gets hence from John Cooper,
|
Ile make him remember the Cooper.
|
Oh pardon me Neighbour the Brewer did say:
|
And for the offence I have done thee this day,
|
I am well contented thy wrath to allay,
|
And make restitution for this my foule play:
|
O prethee forgive me, John Cooper,
|
And Ile be a friend to John Cooper.
|
If from this offence thou wilt set me cleere,
|
My bounty and love to thee shall appeare:
|
Ile freely allow thee and thine all the yeare,
|
As much as yeel drink, either strong Ale or Beere:
|
Then prethee forgive me, John Cooper,
|
Accept of my proffer, John Cooper.
|
Oh no, quoth the Cooper, Ide have thee to thinke,
|
That I with my labour can buy my selfe drinke:
|
Ile geld thee, or lame thee, ere from me thou shrink.
|
These words made the Brewer with feare for to stink;
|
He feared the rage of the Cooper,
|
Yet still he intreated the Cooper.
|
The Cooper by no meanes would let goe his hold,
|
The Brewer cryd out to the Cooper, and told
|
Him, there was the key of his silver and gold,
|
And gave him free leave to fetch what he would:
|
O then he contented the Cooper,
|
These tidings well pleased the Cooper.
|
If thou, quoth the Cooper, wilt sweare with an oath,
|
To doe all thou tellst me, although I am loath,
|
I will be contented to pardon you both:
|
Content, quoth the Brewer, I will by my troth,
|
Here take thou my key, John Cooper.
|
Yea, with a good will, quoth the Cooper.
|
On this condition they both went their way,
|
Both John and the Brewer, but John kept the key,
|
Which opend the Coffer where more money lay,
|
Than John the Cooper had seene many a day:
|
This is a brave sight, thought the Cooper,
|
Ile furnish my selfe, thought the Cooper.
|
John was so farre in affection with that,
|
That he tooke up handfuls and filled his Hat:
|
I will have my bargaine, quoth John, that is flat,
|
The Brewer shall pay well for using my Fat:
|
Ile cry no more worke for a Cooper,
|
Farewell to the trade of a Cooper.
|
Thus money can pacifie the greatest strife:
|
For John never after found fault with his wife.
|
Hee left off his Adz, his Saw and his Knife,
|
And after livd richly all daies of his life;
|
Hee cryd no more worke for a Cooper:
|
Oh he left off the trade of a Cooper.
|
And in his merry mood, oft he would say,
|
If that I had hoopt twenty tubs in one day,
|
I should not have got so much wealth, by my fay:
|
Gramercie kind wife, for thy wit found the way
|
To make a rich man of John Cooper:
|
Oh what a good wife has John Cooper.
|
Let no marryd couple that heare this tale told,
|
Be of the opinion this couple did hold,
|
To sell reputation for silver or gold:
|
For credit and honesty should not be sold.
|
Thus ended the song of the Cooper.
|
That cryd, Haye any worke for a Cooper.
|
|
|
|
|