Comical NEWS from BLOOMSBURY.
THE
FEMALE CAPTAIN:
OR, THE
Counterfit Bridegroom:
Giving a Full and True Relation how one Madam-Mary Plunket, alias, Williams;
a young Woman of eighteen Years of Age, who put on Man's Apparel, assum'd the Name of
Capt. Charles Fairfax, set up for a young Heir, courted a young Gentlewoman of Blooms-
bury, and by the Consent of her Friends [in hopes of Gain] was married to her by a Jaco-
bite Parson; they being at the Charge of the Wedding Cloaths, Ring, Dinner, etc. Of her
living with the young Woman a whole Month undiscovered, using a strange Instrument for
Generation, with the strange manner of the Discovery by an old Woman of the Pretended
Captain's Acquaintance; how being taken up for a Cheat, and committed to the New Prison
at Clearken-well, where she now remains.
To the Tune of, Ladies of London.
Licens'd according to Order.
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COme all ye frolicksom Jilts of the Town,
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whose Trade like yourselves is uncertain;
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Since Whoring like other Professions goes down,
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I'll show you a new way to good Fortune:
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Cheer up your Hearts, to be merry prepare,
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excuse but a little Preamble,
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I'll sing you a Jest (if you have not a care)
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shall give you the Thorough-go-nimble:
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A Lady well skill'd in Intrigues of the Town,
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reduc'd to a slender Condition;
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Who liv'd by the Trade of, Shove-up and go-down,
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which has so long time been in fashion;
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But Money's so scarce and Taxes so great,
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poor Cully is grown unable
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To give half a Crown for a bit for his Cat,
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or to put up his Nag in the Stable.
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Resolving at last some new Measures to try
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to raise up her Fortune to Riches;
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She lays her Profession and Petticoats by,
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and boldly she puts on the Breeches:
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Her Carriage so pleasing, and full of Air,
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her Talk so delightful and witty;
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In Masculine Habit she now does appear
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as gay as Bean in the City.
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She takes Noble Lodgings, sets up for an Heir,
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and pass'd for the same of a certain;
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She bates with Delusion her amarous Snare,
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desiring to hook in some Fortune.
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A cunning old Miser full of Design,
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being blest with a pritty young Daughter,
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With whom our young Heir did his Project begin,
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and craftily mannag'd the matter.
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The Father being eager to make up the Match,
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proposing a very good Portion
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Of Money and Plate; which the miserly Wretch
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had got by his cursed Extorion:
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The Lovers themselves did quickly agree;
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the Father was also consenting;
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Expecting his Daughter a Lady should be;
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and he without cause of repenting.
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The Day was declar'd to consummate the Match,
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with joy to the innocent Creature;
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The Miser being greedy, and busy to catch
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so hopeful a Prize for his Daughter:
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The Father provided a plentiful Feast;
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in Grandieur they went to be wedded;
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The Portion was paid, but the cream of the Jest,
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was what they did when they were bedded.
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The Bridegroom had prudently got a Sheep's gut
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blow'd up very stiff, as a Bladder;
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But what he did with it, or whether 'twas put
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I'll leave you good Folks to consider:
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The innocent Bride no difference knew,
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and seem'd to be greatly delighted;
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But Lasses I warrant there's none among you
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that would be so cleverly cheated.
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This for a Month undiscovered pass'd on;
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at last an old turbulet Woman,
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Made privy to th' Project when first'twas begun,
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and knew the young Spouse to be no Man,
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One morning resolv'd to open the Jest,
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without any farther delaying,
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The Bed-claths she toss'd, show'd the Beard of the Beast,
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and Pull'd off the Politick Play-Thing.
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