The two Monstrous LOVER [S, ]
OR,
The most Admirable WOOING
BETWIXT
Nincompoop and Mopsaphil.
To and Excellent New Tun[e], much in Request.
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AH my pritty Mopsaphil! no living Tongue can tell thee,
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how I dwindle, whine & pine, since first these eyes beheld thee?
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Ah my lovely Nincompoop! there's no love lost between us,
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I am judg'd to love as much by all as e're have seen us;
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For thy dainty wadling Gate the natural squinting of thine Eye,
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And thy curious Nut-brown Face, alas! my Mopsaphil I dye,
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Ah! what pity 'tis that such Phisognomy as this should cry,
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I don't deny, then let me dye, you understand my meaning.
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When 'tis dark i'le slide to thee thus softly on my tip-toes,
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If thou'lt let me in thy Flannel Petticoat and Slip-shoes,
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Ah! should I but give you leave, what would you do unto me?
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Should you take what I could give, alas! you would undo me:
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Oh! never fear my Mopsaphil, but leave the Door upon the pin,
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And when all the Spyes are still, I'll heave the Latch & enter in,
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Ah! what pity 'tis so sweet a bliss as this should be a sin,
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then do no fail, you must prevail, my Nincompoop conceive me.
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Sure I will thy Counsel keep, my Dear, thou may'st believe me,
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When I to thy Chamber creep, I hope thou wilt receive me,
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For I am as sweet a Man as most is in the Nation,
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Yes, said she, my Nincompoop I stand in admiration:
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When as I see thy mansie Nose, thy bandy Leggs and beetle brow
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I cann't forbear but fall in Love with such a pritty Creature now,
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Therefore here I can't deny, but needs must yield to thee I vow,
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my minds reveal'd, this kiss has seal'd, the promise which I make you.
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How I do rejoyce to think upon that happy hour,
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When I shall my Love enjoy, which will my grief devour?
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Thou art of a comely grace, and need not fear thy ruin,
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Mopsaphil, I pray now tell, how dost thou like my Wooing?
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Sure never was a Nincompoop could court a Lass so [?]
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For indeed thy Courting Charms has won my Heart, I [?]
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Therefore do not fail to come when it is dark, my lov[e ]
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and you shall find I will be kind, according to thy hu [mor ]
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But I have considered now, if you should lye beside m[e]
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And I prove with Child by you, alas! what will bet [ide me ]
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Damsels whine will scoff and flout, you know these thin [gs ]
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Love, said he, if this should be, I'll make an honest wom [an ]
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Of my dainty Mopsaphil, for we will married be wi[th]
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And I for thee will then provide, then prithee let us [?]
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Therefore now no more of this my Mopsaphil we n [?]
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then do not fear my only dear, I ever will adore the [e ]
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Love, to what I do pretend, I ever will be loyal,
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Therefore do not seem to blush, but put it to the trya [l]
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All the silent Night we'll spend in loves delight and p [leasure ]
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And on thee I will bestow sweet Kisses out of measure: [?]
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Oh! but if my Mother she should chance to catch us bo [?]
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How she would then be in a rage, this is the very thing
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O let not such things as these, my dearest now run in t [?]
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be rul'd by me and thou shalt see, that I will surely[p?]
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I'll get thee a lusty Lad, delighful in his favour,
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If it be but like the Dad, from thee I ne'er will sever,
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Nay, my Nincompoop, said she, it will but be your [D ?]
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Should the Child be like you, then it needs must be a B [?]
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If it hath thy beetle Brows, thy squinting Eyes and wa [?]
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Bandy leggs and mamsy Nose, your love for it must ne [?]
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And therefore now, pray do not fail to come to me, th [?]
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My love you crave, which you shall have, what Maid [?]
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