THE CUCKOLD'S Calamity OR, THE Old Usurer Plunder'd of his Gold BY His Young WIFE, FOR The supply of her Gallants, WHO Hope Her out at a dead LIFT.
To the Tune of, The Scotch Hay-makers. Licensed according to Order.
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HEar my lamentation, good People, now I pray,
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I marry'd with a Wife that is youthful, fair and gay;
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Oh! she took me for my gold, tho' I'm goughty, lame, and old,
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The mo[r]e's the pity, through the City, I am often told
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Of the Intreagues which she often plays,
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My Heart it is perplex'd and tormented many ways;
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Her Sparks she keeps in store, and kicks me out of door,
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Now, under favour, did you ever hear the like before.
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Tho' I strive to please her, I find 'tis all in vain,
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My tender fond imbraces with frowns she does disdain;
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Once she threw me out of bed, where I fell, and broke my head,
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I cry'd, Sweet Jewel, why so cruel? then she wish'd me dead,
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There did I lye in a woeful plight,
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Upon the boards, dear Friends, till the morning, morning-light;
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My Lodging on the Floor, did grieve my Heart full sore,
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Friends, under favour, did you ever hear the like before.
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Nay I did but grumble that she had serv'd me so,
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And thereupon the Pispot she at my Head did throw,
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Which was of the largest size, and before that I could rise,
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The flood of Urine, oh! the Urine blinded both my eyes;
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A Tost which was in the Pot did fly
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Between my aged Gums, then aloud I thus did cry,
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You sawcy stinking Whore, introath I said no more,
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But she like thunder, soon assunder my gray locks she tore.
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She was much offended that I had call'd her thus,
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So to be reconcil'd, I was force to stretch my Purse,
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A rich Garb for her I bought, with fine golden Flowers wrought,
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The best of Women, for their Trimming, tho' they thousands brought,
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Never can vaunt it more gay in Pride,
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Yet to my face she swears I shall still be hornify'd;
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She having Sparks in store, a dozen still or more,
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Friends, under favour, did you ever hear the like before.
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How do'ye think she serv'd the last Whitson-wednesday,
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My bag of Gold and Silver under my Pillow lay,
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While I slept she drew it out, now with Hectors brave and stout,
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She takes her Pleasure, spends my Treasure, oh, it flies about,
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While she does revel it day and night,
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In Taverns with her Sparks, I am clearly ruin'd quite,
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For there they rant and roar, consuming all my store,
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Friends, under favour, did you ever here the like before.
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Once it was my fortune to find her with a Bow,
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As they into a Tavern both hand in hand did go,
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Whereupon I did presume for to watch them to their Room,
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Where like a Novice, through a crevice, I beheld my doom,
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Having no power to hold my tongue,
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I call'd him, Saucy Knave, and the door I open slung;
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But strait her Gallant swore, I run and said no more,
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F[r]iends, under favour, did you ever hear the like before.
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But he over-took me, and bent his rugged Brows,
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And said, He'd run me through if I own'd so sweet a Spouse:
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Now with that he drew, and swears, not regarding my gray hairs
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With naked Rapier did he vapour, drove me down the stairs,
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So that I left him with my young Wife.
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And glad I was, dear Friends, that I sav'd my precious life;
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So getting out of door, I vow'd I'd come no more,
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Friends, under favour, did you ever hear the like before.
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Loosing all my Mony I fear will break my Heart,
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Besides there is not many that seems to take my part;
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Oh what Sorrows have I felt, let them take her like a Jilt,
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The Devil blind her, I'd not mind her, had I but my Gilt;
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But in regard she has serv'd me so,
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Dear Friends I can't forbear, but my Horn I needs must blow
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The lose of all my Store, has made me wretched poor,
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Friends, under favour, did you ever hear the like before.
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