The Cuckoldly Cook: OR,The Lusty Drawer hide in the Pastry-Cook's Oven,
where he was found and fairly thrasht by the Cook, for making him a Cucklod while he was upon the watch with his Wive's Father.
Tune of, The London Cuckold: or, Mother Roger. Licensed according to Order.
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COme listen to this pleasant ditty,
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which I shall in brief relate,
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'Tis of a Woman fair and pretty,
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and her kind and loving Mate;
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Therefore now I pray behold,
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Such a jest is seldom told,
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As I'm sure you will confess,
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When I do the truth express;
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While her kind, husband watch'd by night,
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Then she enjoy'd her heart's delight.
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Her loving Friend he was a Drawer,
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living near that very place;
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The very first time that he saw her,
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she appear'd with such a grace,
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That he could not well forbear,
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But he must his mind declare;
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She was kind and gave consent,
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So at length to bed they went;
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Thus while her Husband watch'd by night,
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She there injoy'd her heart's delight.
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The Cook he was no common Watchman,
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as I needs must let you know,
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Nor yet his Brother any such Man,
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yet they to the watch-house go,
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Mearly for her Father's sake,
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One watch night with him they take;
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Being Constable we hear,
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This rejoyc'd his Daughter dear;
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For while her Husband watch'd by night,
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She had her love and heart's delight.
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The Drawer swore it was no treason,
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for to dally, sport and play,
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Quoth he, It is a proper season,
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we will lye till break of day;
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Send your Servant now a side,
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I will to your chamber slide,
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Thou art welcome, Love, she cry'd,
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He was not the least deny'd;
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Thus while the Cook did watch by night,
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His Wife injoy'd her heart's delight.
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Her Gallant kiss'd her out of measure,
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but yet what more I will not say,
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Now in the transport of their pleasure,
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swift Time took wings and flew away;
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Towards day-light when it grew,
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The Cook and his Brother too,
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Left the Watch and home return'd,
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As Persons clearly unconcern'd;
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The Cook not thinking, as he said,
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That he had been a Cuckold made.
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At the door he rapp'd like thunder,
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straight the Prentice let him in,
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Then the two Lovers flew asunder,
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frightful cares did soon begin;
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Down the stairs the Drawer run,
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Being afraid of what was done,
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He into the oven crope;
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Here I now am safe I hope.
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But yet the Cook he found him out,
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And likewise bang'd the Rogue about.
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Now when the Cook and his dear Brother,
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both did to the oven come,
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The first thing which they did discover,
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it was the Drawer's brawny bum,
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Are you here the Cook, he cry'd,
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E'er you go I'll thrash your hide:
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Out he pull'd him by the tooes,
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Then he season'd him with blows;
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The proverb old was come to pass,
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The Cook he gave him sower sawce.
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He cry'd out e'ry bang he gave him,
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Sarrah you have Cuckold me;
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Thus a while he did beslave him,
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and at length did set him free;
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Loath he was to take his life,
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Then he told his loving Wife,
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He wou'd pardon her, if so,
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She henceforth would wiser grow;
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In sorrow on her knees she fell,
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He pardon'd her, now all is well.
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