The Country-Mans Kalender,
Or, His Astrological-Predictions for the ensuing Year 1692.
Being a brief Almanack without e're a Lye; Writ in a new Method for Merriment sake, and may be Sung to
the Tune of An Orange. Licensed according to Order.
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A Ttend and give ear, I'll make it appear,
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This is a New Almanack for the next Year;
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Which I'de have ye buy, good People, for why?
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There is not so much as the smell of a Lye
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in the Twelve-Months.
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January:
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This Month may be cold, and therefore behold,
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All those that have plenty of Silver and Gold,
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If Garments you lack, buy them to your back,
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And see that you line them with Malago- Sack;
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It will warm you.
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February.
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In this Month, I say, comes Valentine 's-Day,
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When young Lads and Lasses together will play
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Tom gives his love Sue , gay Ribbons that's new,
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A Bodkin, with Kisses, and t'other thing too,
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Which will please her.
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March.
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Saint Taffie this Year, in March will appear,
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Drest in hur best Shacket, with Leek in hur Ear:
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Red-Herring and Sheese, such dainties as these,
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At every corner her Cousin her sees,
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Honest Shinkin .
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April.
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Now enters the Spring, the Cuckoo's on Wing,
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Who many an honest Man seeks to hear sing;
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When Cuckoo he crys, if that thou art wise,
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Then tell the young impudent Cur that he lies,
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never fear him.
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May.
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In the Month of May , young Lambs they will play,
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And so will young Lasses, there's few will say nay,
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They'll ramble all night, with Men for delight,
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There's nothing like May -Dew for clearing the sight
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of young Lasses.
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June.
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In the Month of June , there will be a Moon,
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And in London -City each Day about Noon
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Some hundreds will Dine, and tipple good Wine,
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I find by the Planets that this is a sign
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of good living.
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July.
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Likewise in July , by Stars I descry,
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If there be no Rain it may chance to be dry:
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The weather, behold, not desperate cold,
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And many a Man he will bury a Scold,
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to his comfort.
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August.
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In August you'll find, some Husbands unkind,
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And won't let his Wife have a Garb to her mind:
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But then with a frown, she'll fling out of Town,
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And e're she returns back will Cuckold his Crown,
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for a Coxcomb.
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September.
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In this Month repair, to Bartholomew- Fair,
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And likewise to Southwark , then delicate Ware,
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As plump as a Doe, above and below,
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You may have for little or nothing, I know,
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in September.
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October.
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October indeed, will hasten with speed,
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Together whole troops of the Billingsgate- Breed,
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Where Morning and Night, like Tygers they'll fight
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Before they'll be wrong'd in the least of their right,
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in their Oysters.
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November.
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November also, by Planets I know,
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That Lawyers by shoals do to Westminster go:
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Yet mark what I say, the Counsellours they
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Without Gold or Silver will ne'r get the day
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for their Clyents.
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December.
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In this Month likewise, Roast-Beef & minc'd-Pies,
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They will be sufficient the Rich to suffice:
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This delicate Cheer, will be far and near,
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And Christmas will be in December this Year,
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I must tell ye.
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This Almanack then, the Wonder of Men,
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Peruse it, and read it well over agen:
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Good People, for why? you cannot deny,
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But this, in plain terms, is without e're a Lye,
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therefore buy it.
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