The Skilful DOCTOR; Or, The
Compleat Mountebank.
Good people give ear to me, that stand within the Throng,
And you shall hear a Story strange of a Doctor that is come.
Strange Courages he doth undertake, and he doth come from Spain,
If a Maid has lost her Maiden-head, he can help her to it again.
Tune of, Over the Mountains.
By R. Pilkington.
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COme here you brave Gallants,
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of Fame and Renown,
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Here is a brave Doctor,
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that is new come to town:
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He hath been in Holland,
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in France and in Spain,
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And he can help a Maid
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to her Maiden-head again.
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All other Diseases,
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I likewise can cure,
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The which young Women,
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they much do endure.
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Therefore come unto me,
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you that are not wed
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For the chief of my skill is,
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to cure your Maiden-head.
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I have been at Dover,
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at Barwick likewise,
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In France and in Flanders,
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my skill they much prize;
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All sorts of young Women,
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will me entertain,
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Because I do help them
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to their Maiden-heads again.
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I have been at Glascow,
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and Scotland throughout,
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Where Moggy and Jenny
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for joy they did shout;
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There is not such a Doctor,
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in all Scotland doth remain,
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Now Moggy and Jenny
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are Maidens again.
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Throughout the whole Nation,
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and Country about,
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My Fame it is known,
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to Turkey quite out:
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Then take your opportunity,
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whilst here I do remain,
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For when I am gone,
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you would wish me here again.
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The Doctor's Famous Cures.
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I Must have a fat Ore,
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that was hatched in an Egg,
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Likewise a quick Ass
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that has never a Legg,
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A Swan with five Leggs,
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you must fetch me from Spain,
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And then I can help you
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to your Maiden-heads again.
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I must have an Oak
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that in Norway did grow,
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I must have a Fat Buck,
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that was Pigg'd by a Sow,
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I must have an Eagle,
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hatched under an Hen,
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And then I can help you,
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to your, etc.
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I must have a Cuckow,
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that at Christmass did cry,
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I must have a young Swal[low]
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that in March did flye,
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An Egg of an Ant-pie,
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you must fetch me from Sp[ain]
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And then I can help you,
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to your, etc.
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When they in Virginia.
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no Tabacco can plant,
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When at Paris in France,
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holy-Water is scant,
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When there is not a Tory
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in Ireland do remain,
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O then you shall all
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become Maidens, etc.
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When there is no division,
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betwixt Church and State,
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When old Wives speak reason
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and Hens cannot crake:
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When the arrant Dissembler
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truth to all Men do mean,
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O then you will all become
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Maidens, etc.
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When the Cat she can speak,
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both Latine and Greek;
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And the Monkey doth teach her
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to Write and to Read:
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And the Fox comes to tell them
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their labours in vain,
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The you will all become
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Maidens again.
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And now all young Maids,
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I you do advise,
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What ever you do,
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to be merry and wise:
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Keep close to your Maiden-heads
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whilst they do remain,
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For when they are gone,
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you'l ne'r see them again.
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