Mirth for Citizens: Or, A Comedy for the Country.
Shewing,
A young Farmer his unfortunate Marriage,
His Wife is so churlish, so currish in Carriage;
He married her for beauty, for his own delight,
Now he repents it both day and night.
By Physognomy adviseth young men that at Wenches skip,
To be sure to look before that they lip;
To leap at a venture and catch a fall,
Raising the Forehead, breaks Horns, and all.
To the Tune of, Ragged, torn, and true.
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HEy boys my Fathers dead,
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and what need I to fear
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With gold and silver I am sped,
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and have fifty pound Land a year
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Then why should I be single,
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I will not lead the life;
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My gold and silver doth gingle,
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a wooing i'le go for a Wife.
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Sure thrice happy am I,
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if I obtain this bride,
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There's none can her come nigh,
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not in the whole World beside.
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A dainty fine Lass I know,
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as ever England bred;
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Her skin is as white as snow,
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and her hair of a crimson red:
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She lives but in our Town,
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she is vertuous, chast and wise.
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If I win her, my joys are crown'd
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besides a matchless prize,
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Sure thrice happy am I, etc.
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Ile get her Fathers good will,
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and Mothers too beside;
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Then next Ile try my skill,
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to win this lovely bride:
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Ile hug her, and buss her, and kiss her,
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in her lies all my pride:
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As Conventickle Dick served his sister,
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and tother thing too beside.
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Sure thrice happy am [I], etc.
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She hath two hundred pound to her portion,
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and I a great deal of Land;
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Thus shall I come quick to promotion,
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for love I take her by the hand:
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But when I went to be married,
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I was in the hight of my pride:
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Brave gallants on horse-back was carried,
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to accompany me and me bride.
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Sure thrice happy am I,
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that I have obtained [t]his Bride,
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There's none can to her come nigh,
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not in the whole World beside.
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The Second part, to the same Tune.
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O we had a gallant brave weding indeed
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and dilicate dishes store,
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Those were welcome which were of our biding
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but little we minded the poor:
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O we had both Sack and Canary,
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and the musick bravely did play,
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O then I drank Sack and Sherry,
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I thought it would never be day:
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Sure thrice happy am I et[c].
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When I and my Bride was in bed,
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of my weding day at night,
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My fancies with pleasure she fed,
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for I had my full delight:
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She shewed me Venus School
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and with me she did not daddle,
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But I a Young puny fool,
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I quickly fell out of the saddle.
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Sure thrice happy am I, etc.
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But then on the morrow morn,
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O she laughed me to scorn:
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O she drank sack and canary in silver,
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and made me drink out of a horn,
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But when our wedding did cease,
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and our brave banquets were done,
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My joys did quickly decrease,
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and my sorrows soon after begun.
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Sure thrice happy am I, etc.
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She told me she would be Master,
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and all the whole houshold guidde,
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I told her it gave disaster,
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she said it should quickly be tride:
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Then against her I took a stick,
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thinking she durst nor come nigh,
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With a cudgel my bones she did lick,
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that for pardon I quickly did cry:
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sure thrice happy am I, etc.
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She's grown so devilish curst,
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and in it she takes a pride,
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Makes nothing my head to burst,
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and bang my bones beside:
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She makes me go to plow,
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ditch Hedge, and thrash beside,
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And Jack come serve the Jow,
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to this slavery I am tide,
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Sure thrice happy were I, etc.
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I do get up in a morn,
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and for her I make a fire,
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I'm a Cuckold and laught to scorn,
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a holly Crab pays my hire:
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Then her cloaths she gets on her,
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sugar-sops must ready be,
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And I forsooth wait on her,
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with bowing on my Knee:
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Sure thrice happy etc.
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At dinner she is so stout,
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that by her I must now stand,
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To wait with a Napkin on my arm,
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and a Trencher in my hand:
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Some desire I may them pledge,
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and she is so full of hate,
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If I kiss not my hand and make a leg,
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she [l]ays me over the pate:
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Sure thrice happy am I, etc.
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Another thing troubles my head,
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and grieves me worse then this,
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When her Comrade is with her in be[d]
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I must reach her the pot to piss:
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I must draw her a cup of long tipple
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if it be a cold frosty night,
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Or she beats me as lame as a cripple,
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O the Bulls pizel doth me fright.
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Sure thrice happy, etc.
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She kicks me about the house.
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and puts me in bodily fears,
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I dare not say d[u]n is the mouse
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but she pinches me through the ears
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She makes horns at me and doth slight [me]
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and makes me a Jack-a-nokes,
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She kicks me, she pricks me, she bites m[e]
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O I feel her devilish strokes,
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sure thrice happy, etc.
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I wish young men here after:
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be not to quick in woing there wives
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And beware of the Red-hair disaster,
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or repent it all days of their lives:
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Chuse a wench of a dark brown hair,
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and one of a middle size,
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Cole black will fill thee with care,
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and lodg othres betwixt her thighs,
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Sure thrice happy am I,
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if I obtain this bride,
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There's none can her come nigh,
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In all the whole world beside.
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