The Scoulding WIFE,
OR,
The Poor Mans Lamentation of his bad Market in his chusing him a wife
[T]he Poor Mans Sorrows and Disquiet of Mind,
[A]re turned to Comforts, since his Wife fell blind.
It was his Old Sweet-heart that stood his Friend,
And caused his Wife her Life to amend.
To a New Play-House Tune. Licensed according to Order.
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WAs there ever any Man so plaug'd with a Trul,
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As I poor Anthony: since I was wed;
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No sooner I gets my Belly full,
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But straight she will hast me up to Bed;
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Or, alas, she'll begin for to scould and to brawl,
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And call me Rogue and Cuckold with all,
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The whilst she with her comrades do tare it about,
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Then I lies in bed and Snore it out.
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'Tis all the Mony that I get in a Day,
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for to keep at quiet, I give her at night:
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Or alas, she will find such a Tongue for to blay;
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that for two or three hours, she will scold like a Sprit.
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Then up to the Cubbart Pilgarlick doth hie,
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For to look for the Crumbs, that are long lain a Rie,
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And to steep them in skim-milk, whilst they are wet:
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And this is the common Supper I do get.
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Then when I consider the sadness I am in,
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it grieves me to the Heart most bitterly and sore;
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Still expecting the worst of my sorrow to begin,
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being now I am fast ty'd to a Scold and a Whore:
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Then to Patience, for to stand my best friend;
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I knowing it is but in vain to contend,
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Far fe[a?]r lest the Tongs, or the Ladel being nigh;
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Which straightway in her passion at my Head she lets fly.
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Once in a Month, for Fashion-sake;
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she will allow me, for to come to her Bed;
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But all the night there, I do keep me awake;
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for fear lest in her fits she should knack me on the head:
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And as for the bed, that I lie on my self,
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It is as hard as an Oken-shlef;
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And the Ticking it is made af the good Hemp-cords;
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But yet for all this, I must give her good words.
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Sometime we did use for to piss in a Pan,
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but the Cullender did chance for to stand in the place;
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She took it up into her Hand,
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and spilt it about my Stomach and Face:
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I told her that she Pist beside,
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But she call'd me Rogue. and told me I ly'd;
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For it was not come for to touch her Thumb;
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And she took it, and she hall'd it in the middle of the room.
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It was one that had been my Sweet-heart before;
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she came to the door for to borrow a Pale;
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I Kist her once, and I thought of no more:
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but my Wife fell about her Tooth and Nail:
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The Girl stuck to her, and she claw'd her about,
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That for a Months space she could scarcely stir out;
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For her Face was so scratch'd, and her Eyes so sore,
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That I never see a Jade so mald before.
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And then she got me for to drop in her Eyes,
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an excellent water was sent her that day;
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But I got a liquour, I more did prise;
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'twas Henben and Marcury steep'd in Whay:
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I drop't it in, and I nointed her Face,
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But I made the Whore in a pittiful case;
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For she Curst and Swore, well she might,
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For never since that day she got her sight.
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And then I provided a Dog and Bell,
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to carry her about, from place to place:
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Then she cries Husband, I hope all is well:
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But before it was Rogue, add Cuckolds to my Face.
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Then blest be the Henben, and Marcury strong,
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Thay made such a change in my Wifs Tongue;
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For it is a Medicine beth certain and sure,
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To bee cured of a Scold, but I'le say no more.
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