Hey for Horn-Fair:
OR,
Room for Cuckolds, here comes a Company.
To the Tune of, The Winchester Wedding.
This may be Printed, R. L. S.
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AT Charlton there was a Fair,
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where Lads and Lasses did meet,
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Young Johnny and Jenny came there,
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to Dance to the Fiddle so sweet;
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Brisk Sue she led up a Dance,
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and called for Sellengers-round,
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And Nelly to Will did advance,
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and neatly tript o're the Ground:
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Fair Frances with her fine Meen,
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and Dorothy gay as a Queen,
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With Fanny, and pritty-fac'd Nanny,
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the Glory of all the Green.
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The Wives from their Houses fled,
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and thither with joy did repair,
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Forsaking their Husbands dull Bed,
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to find out Gallants in Horn-Fair;
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There Kisses with Glasses go round,
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upon the Maids Marmalet Cheek,
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And many sweet Pleasures were found,
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which vainly their Husbands did seek:
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Poor Jeremy Betty did call,
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and pray'd her to keep her at home,
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But Billy was silly to Bawl,
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since Cuckolds must have their doom.
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The Lanthorn they vainly expose,
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an Honest Man there for to find,
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Their Light and their Labour they loose,
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for they'l with their Misses be kind:
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Although their Husbands them love
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their Wives they seldom do please,
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'Tis Kitty most kindly does prove,
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'tis Christopher gives them their ease:
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Young Christopher must be their Mate,
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their Gallant agen and agen,
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Sweet Kissing must never be missing,
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no pleasures are like young Men.
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Close under the Hedges they lye,
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and there they sweet Furmity eat,
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And if their Old Husbands stand by,
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the Wives will put on them the Cheat;
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When Roger had found our fair Nell,
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he takes her a little aside,
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But what he did there I shan't tell,
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with playing at Whoope-all hide:
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'Tis then the sweet pleasure begins,
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the Lover enjoys with the Lass,
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One Billing oft makes the Maid willing
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to dally upon the Grass.
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The Fairings they give on this Morn,
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obtain them a jolly Renown,
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All sorts and all sizes of HORNS,
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the Al-a-mode Gifts of the Town,
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The Cups and the Watches they give
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to the Fine, and the Tatter's, and Torn,
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They without distinction receive,
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for there they buy nothing but Horn:
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Let the Cuckolds assemble all here,
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and for their Dooms patiently w[ait],
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Here's Horns for the Brows of each Deer,
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guilded Horns for the Rich Mans Pate.
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And thence to fair Greenwich they came,
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to drink a sweet Bumper of Wine,
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To raise up the hearts of each Dame,
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and make them look briskly and fine;
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'Tis Wine that doth heighten Delight,
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and gives to Loves torments an ease.
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Like Love, can shorten the Night,
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and e'ry young Pallat can please:
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There Claret created Desire
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within the soft Breast of each Dame,
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New kindled a Lovely bright fire,
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until that Aurora came.
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Let Husbands take care of their Wives,
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if that they are mindful of Fame,
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And though they live troublesome lives,
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let 'um keep in the Buxom young Dame:
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Their Treasure may quickly be lost,
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and cause them to mourn and complain,
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And when the Wife's tumbl'd and tost,
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the sighs of a Husband are vain:
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When once the Thief findeth his prey,
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he presently seizes the Game,
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And in the Night all Nymphs will play,
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though they live to repent the same.
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SIR,
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These are to warn you, now you are lawfully Summoned,
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that belong to the Hen-peck't Frigat, to come to Cuckolds-
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Point, not only Compleated, Bifronted, and Fortified, but
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also with a Basket, Pick-Axe, and Shovel, on the Nineteenth of
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October, 1685. By Eight of the Clock in the Morning precisely, there
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to be ready with the rest of your Brethren, to march to the Gravel-
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Pits to dig Gravel to make a Foot-Path for your Wives to go to Horn-
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Fair; and that Decency may be observed in such a numerous Assem-
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bly, you are hereby enjoyned to respect Seniority, that the Anci-
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entest of the Tribe may have Precedency, which cannot be so well
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discernable by their Age, as by the Bread Palm of their Heads,
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hereof you are not to fall under the Penalty of a Garret Correcti-
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on, and forfeiture of all your Goods and Chattels, Except your
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Masters Joynture. Thomas Can't-be-quiet Beadle.
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