THE
Wheel-Wrights Huy-and-Cry
After his WIFE, who went away with a
Cooper, who is now turn'd Trooper,
Who Lived in
DRURY-LANE.
Tune, Let Cesar live long, Or the Female Drummer .
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HOw sad is my Fate how unhappy my Life,
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To be Cuckcold and Plagu'd by a Turbulent Wife;
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In an Amorous heat with a Cooper she's gone,
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Who will hoop her Tubb stoutly before he has done:
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There's no better Collation in both their Opinions,
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Then burn'd Clarret and Coneys well smother'd with Oinions
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2.
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I'm a Man every Inch and a Wheel-wright by Trade,
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By a Coopers assistance now a Cockcold am made:
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Now he has her, I hope he will carefully hoop her,
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For I'le warn't him, her lake-hole finds work for the Cooper.
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There's no better Collation in both their Opinions,
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Then burn'd Clarret and Coneys well smother'd with Oinions.
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3.
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I'le reward in a short time the Coopers desert,
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He knows I can soon put a spoke in his Cart;
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If I ever should meet him, I'le belabour his Jerkin,
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Thus without my Consent, for hooping my Wifes Ferkin:
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I'le make them repent and soon change their Opinions,
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Of their Clarret and Coneys well smother'd with Oinions.
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4.
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My Wife tho' she's gone, I'le this Character give her,
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I'le war'nt her, she tyrs both his Adge and his Driver;
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She's a frail mortal Cask that will always want hooping,
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And her damn'd lacky-tap-hole each moment wants stopping:
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They'l Repent of their folly and change their Opinions,
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Of their Clarret and Coneys well smother'd with Oinions.
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5
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When Quarrels arise 'twixt my Neighbours and I ,
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Dip your Horns in burnt Clarret they presently cry;
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Then another he comes and drops out with his Jeer,
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Methinks Coneys and Oinions are delicate cheer:
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Then they'l sing out the Chorus in all our Opinions,
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Burnt Clarret's good Sawce for S tew'd Rabbets and Oinions
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6.
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How unhoppy was I thus to wed with a Jade,
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Who the joys of my Bed to another betray'd;
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It's but just a reward should to Cuckcolds be given,
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We have right by our Horns to the pleasures of Heaven:
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Which is better by far in us Cuckcolds Opinions,
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Than burnt Clarret and Coneys well smother'd with Oinions
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7.
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To the weight of my Horns I am forced to stoop,
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I am now made a Cuckcold as round as a hoop;
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He is stupid who for his Wifes fault ever Mourns,
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My head shall on Wheels run and not on my horns:
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Let them hoop and be damn'd with both their Opinions,
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Of burnt Clarret and Coneys well smother'd with Oinions
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8.
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This Leacherous Cooper some Satyre hath got him,
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He'l leave no Tubb standing upon its own bottom;
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I am sure he will quickly be tyr'd with his Love,
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He will soon find her Ferkin will bottomless prove:
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They'l repent soon their folly and change their Opinions,
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There's so much for Clarret stew'd Coneys and Oinions.
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