The Country Cozen: Or
The Crafty City Dame.
Who invited a Gentleman to her House in Womans apparel, whereby her Husband was deceived, he taking him for a she Country Cozen, and how he found out, and punished the Deceipt.
Tune of, Good Morrow Valentine .
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T Here dwells a brave young wife in London City,
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She is beth eloquent, pregnant, and witty,
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She hath a curious hand to write a Letter,
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She loves her Husband well, but others better:
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and though she be ensnar'd with at least a dozen,
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the man whom she loves best she calls her cozen.
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The good man had a trick which his wife hated,
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For often times he would be jealous pated,
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For which the good wife vow'd to be revenged,
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Though out of her own house she never ranged:
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But mark what happen'd 'twixt her and her cozen,
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I think 'twas the prettiest trick done of a dozen.
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A secret Letter by wit she invented,
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And by a trusty Messenger sent it,
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To be delivered unto her Husband Sir,
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Who in the countrey liv'd, pray mark the end sir.
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This Letter it was sent unto her cozen,
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Who was the man she lov'd best of a dozen.
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Kind cozen then, quoth she, I am grown sickly,
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I pray make hast to me, come ease me quickly:
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You are the man I know must give me Physick,
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To rid me of my cold and cure my Ptisick;
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But I would have you to consider sweet cozen,
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That my husband jealous is most of a dozen.
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BUt for to blind his eyes, I do desire,
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That you would lay aside your mans attire;
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And quickly dress your self like a young woman,
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But of your coming let it be known to no man:
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Then welcome to me, you'r most of a dozen,
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Thus ends my Letter, think on it sweet cozen.
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When he this Letter had seen and perused,
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Her courteous proffer he never refused,
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To act a womans part he did his endeavour,
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And bought a brave new Gown, and a rich Beaver,
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New Apron, Hose, and Shooes he soon had chosen,
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Which was the counsel he had from his cozen.
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When as the Barber had trim'd him compleatly
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He shew'd himself like a woman dressed neatly,
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And towards London went as fast as may be,
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Where many took him for some countrey Lady,
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And coming to the house of his sweet cozen,
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She gave him kisses thirteen to the dozen.
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The good Wife being most skilful and cunning,
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Unto her husband with speed she was running,
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And having plotted against him all treason,
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She told him a lye sir, and shew'd him a reason:
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Husband, quoth she, this is my countrey cozen,
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I pray make much of her, she's best of a dozen.
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Then the good man began with words very finely,
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You'r welcome to my house quoth he very kindly,
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And after complements he courteously kist her,
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More welcome to my house than my own Sister:
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You are the welcom'st guest of a whole dozen,
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and't please you stay all night welcom sweet cozen.
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Then good cheer was sent for a supper provided,
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But mark how after this matter was guided,
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They having feasted, their chops very merry,
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The one to the other said, now I am weary;
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I have come miles this day at least a dozen,
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Then let me go to bed my loving cozen.
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Then said the good wife I will not deny you,
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The Bed is ready, and I will lie by you,
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Pray husband give us leave to lie together,
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Only to talk a while one with another.
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Then quoth the good man for 2 nights in a dozen,
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I will allow you to lie with your cozen.
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When as this horned man had thus consented,
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These lovers went to bed safely contented,
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But judge what sport they had to hinder mourning
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They lay in bed till Sun-rising next morning,
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And a sack-posset against they were risen,
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The good man ready had for's wife and cozen.
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This Posset being eaten, and breakfast ended,
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These Lovers for delight further intended,
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And to the tavern went with good discretion,
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And drank seven quarts of wine for recreation;
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And coming home again in the night season,
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The good Wife lay again with her sweet cozen.
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But then the good man thought there was some treason,
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Plotted against his head in two nights season,
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He dream'd like Acteon he was transformed,
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And like unto a Buck his pate was horned,
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With a great noise of Hounds after him running,
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So that to hide his head he wanted cunning.
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When out of this drousie dream he was awaken,
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He vow'd he would be no further mistaken,
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But quickly out of his bed without much dodging,
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And coming to the bed in his wifes lodging;
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He took her napping in'th arms of her cozen,
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Which was the prettiest trick done of a dozen.
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When he had searcht him & found him a man sir,
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Having in one hand a good holly wand Sir,
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He soundly beswing'd him back, side, and bone sir,
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And threatned the next time he'd cut off his stones sir,
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Then naked out of doors he turn'd his cozen,
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This was the prettiest trick done of a dozen.
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