The English Fortune-Teller.
[B]eing a brief direction to shun all strife,
A brief instruction how to chuse a Wife;
Whereby a man may lead a happy life.
It shews a difference in womans qualities,
By colour of their hair, both face & eyes.
The Tune is, Ragged and torn , etc.
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Y Ou young-men that want skill in wooing,
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and if you desire to be wed,
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Take counsel of me in your doing
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for fear that you should be misled,
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Do not my kind proffer refuse,
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for it will never you deceive:
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Twill shew you what woman to chuse,
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and what creature you'd best for to leave:
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But chiefly I'd wish you beware,
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of a wench with a rowling eye:
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For she that will cozen and swear,
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will also dissemble and lye.
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I'th first place I do you advise,
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take one not too high nor too low,
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But according to your one size,
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that you may her qualities know:
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Take one not too young nor too old,
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nor one that's too fat nor too lean;
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Tis a bad thing to met with a scold,
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'tis a worse thing to meet with a Quean,
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But chiefly, etc.
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Take one that is not too proud,
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nor one that's a dirty foul slut,
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The one may bable too loud,
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the other may poyson the gut.
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Tis better to wed an honest maid,
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although she be never so poor,
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Than to wed a rich Gossip 'tis said,
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if afterwards she should turn Whore.
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But chiefly, etc.
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A widdow whose wealth doth surmount,
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if that you do marry for gain,
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Shee'l call you to double account,
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and your pleasures will turn to your pain:
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Besides she is apt to be jealous,
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which is the forerunner of strife,
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As good to be hang'd at a Gallows,
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as marry with such a cross wife.
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But chiefly, etc.
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And now in the second place I
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am purposed for recite,
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My skill in Physiiognomy,
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wherein I will shew you aright,
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Byth'colour of hair on the head,
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or else by the favour or face,
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You may know with whom for to wed;
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and who you had best to embrace,
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But chiefly, etc.
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The man that will chuse him a Mate,
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by color of Hair or comlexion,
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Must chuse many ways intricate,
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lest he be brought under subjection,
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He must view both her forehead and brow,
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her Cheeks, Eyes, Nose, and her Chin.
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G Od Cupid those things doth allow,
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when first to woe you do begin.
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But chiefly, etc.
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All is not Gold which Glisters,
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nor it is not all lead that looks dull:
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Fair Venus the cheif of the Sisters,
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made Vulcan her husband a Gull,
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So many times beautifull Lasses
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will jeer their poor husbands in scorn,
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And cunningly break all their Glasses,
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and make them drink out of a Horn.
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But chiefly, etc.
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She that hath her hair of bright yellow,
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and traces the wyers of Gold,
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If she meet with a pritty fellow,
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her husband may chance to be Cuckold:
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And she that by nature's compos'd,
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of round Cherry Cheeks and red hair,
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If she be pink-ey'd and long nos'd,
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believe me she's dangerous ware.
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But chiefly, etc.
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The brown hair with a witty discourse,
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but commonly for their own ends;
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I like her a great deal the worse,
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because she'l dissemble with her friends[,]
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A Wench with an ash-colour'd face,
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her actions are often uncivil,
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Her tongue will her husband disgrace,
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just like the second she-devil.
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But chiefly, etc.
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The bonny Wench with the black-brow,
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oh she is a good one indeed:
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For she will be true to her vow,
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I would we had more of her breed:
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And thus I have told you my mind,
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concerning Phisiognomy,
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I mean no wrong to women kind,
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I swear by my honesty.
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Lest I should some female offend,
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I'le lay by my pen and rest,
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What ev'r in this Ditty is pen'd,
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let young men take where they love best.
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Yet thus much i'le speak in regard,
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and i'le maintain my words in a trice,
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Some women may well be compar'd,
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to the best chance or worst of the Dice,
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Suppose a young-man goes to Dice,
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and ventures his goods and his store,
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If he can throw Conque or a Sice,
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the game's his own forever more:
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But if that his fortune be crost,
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that he throws but a Deuce or an Ace,
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His goods and his substance is lost,
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and hee's left in a pittiful case.
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Suppose in like case, if a Lad,
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can get him a provident wife,
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His fortune can never be bad,
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hee's made all the days of his life:
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But if that dame fortune do frown,
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that his wife and he cannot agree;
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He is quite for ever cast down,
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by woful experience we see.
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And now noble Young men adieu'
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remember the words which I say,
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This song's like to prove to be true,
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then buy it and bear it away.
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