The French Whipper,
Untrussing severally the noted abuse,
In all sorts of people, which is most in use.
To the Tune of the Corranto.
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IF that you will heare a ditty,
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that wanteth both reason and rime:
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Marke and I thinke I shall fit yee,
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for expence of this idle time:
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The Author although it be foolish,
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he will not his ditty disdaine.
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Kind parents refuse not their Orfants,
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although they be crooked and lame.
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I tender the case of a Begger,
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much more doe I pitty a King,
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The ones a contemned creature,
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the others a royall thing:
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Want onely a Begger distresseth,
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but a King lives in manifold dangers,
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Care and feare his brest still possesseth,
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as well of his Subjects as strangers.
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Let a Begger live never so loosely,
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his life and his calling agree:
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Though a King rule never so wisely,
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his Subjects some faults will espie.
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The mier is sooner perceived,
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that on the white Swan doth remaine:
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Though a Crow in the durt be bedabled,
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his C[?a]ler it will never staine.
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The briske Sickafanticall Courtier,
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that by begging Monopolies rise:
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Yet are not so deepe in my favone,
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as the Plough-man that many despise:
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He's the cheifest prop of a Nation,
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though his haviour & rayment be plain
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He begges of the King no pension,
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nor lives he on others mens paine.
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And if he grow rich in his calling,
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tis alone by the fruite of hi[s] [l]abour:
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When that one by anothers falling,
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Courtiers clime into place and favour:
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Their alone and best observation,
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is to flatter & cloake with the Mighty:
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Unles by phantasticall fashion,
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he insinuate the love of some Lady.
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The Knights and the Gentry that meddles
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with businesse belonging to Hindes:
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I detest them of all sorts of people,
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for their base and degenerate mindes:
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Since Knights become clownes and the gentry
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gan meddle in matters so base:
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Clownes are become Knights & are sawsy
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to intrude into Gentle mens place.
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I like not a Country Justice,
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when's fingers in every mans cause:
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Nor these prepostrous Atturnies,
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they doe so torment the Lawes:
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Yet the ones in majesteticall fashion,
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controuleth within his Commision:
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The others the bane of a Nation,
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and the brand that doth kindle sedition.
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Such a Justice receiveth more booties,
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from his neighbours that doe not agree,
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Then the King receives from them duties,
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brudes his Clarke he must have fee:
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Then give your Aturny your mony,
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his advice exceedes Ployden or Dyer:
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And follow his councell I warrant
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you recover, or finde him a Lyer.
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The second part. To the same tune.
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I Love not a raedie tongued Lawyer,
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hee's so full of demurrs and delayes:
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Nor yet a trecherous Armenian,
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though he turn up his eies when he praies:
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Yet both they have holy directions,
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for the Angells the Lawyers do guide:
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And the Spirits the Armenians instruction,
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lest he from his matter should slide.
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A Lawyers tongue like to a feather,
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will wave any way for a fee:
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But rage and affection may sever,
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a Priest of this sekt we oft see:
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Then the Spirit must needes be evill,
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that this Priest from his text so doth lead:
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And the Angells proseede from the divill,
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that Lawyers gainst truth cause to pleade.
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Your fine Gentlewomen and Ladies,
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that paint when their beauties decay:
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And your Citizens wives that like babies,
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are trickt up in trime aray:
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When they to better their feature,
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and their beauty far passed amend,
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They becom apes of reasonable cretures,
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& their Husbands the w[ur]kho[rn]e doth lend.
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The trades-men that dwell in the Cittie,
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and tiffetie tafferie weare:
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I wonder how they grow so welthie,
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and yet never gaine by their ware:
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Thei'le sell it for lesse then they bought it,
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or promise to give you the bying
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From whence proceeds then their profit,
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I thinke they doe gaine by their lying.
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I scorne a Thrasonicall Souldier,
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when his vallour in Tavernes he showes,
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And a leane pedanticall Usher,
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when's legges are too little for's hose:
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And yet though I like not I care not,
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let Souldiers use drinking & drabbing:
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And Ladies use Ushers and spare not,
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I doe not love to be babling.
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I love not a Meger Phisition,
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although hee can jumble a potion:
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Nor yet a quacke-salveing Surgion,
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for hee smells of the seringe and Lotion:
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Yet the one juditiously endeth,
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our lives in the daies of opression:
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The other Artificially mendeth,
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the defect [of t]he cause of transgression.
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I hate a paraphrasticall Taylor,
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because hee purloynes our Aparrell.
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A base-farming-Punke and a Pander,
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that for sinfull comodities quarrell:
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Yet the punke deserves no comendation,
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she's neither true, honest, nor wise;
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Shee's the absolute bane of a nation,
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and doth all true vertue despise.
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A Parater, and a Delater,
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an Usurer, and a false Scribe:
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A Bawde, and a filthie Pander,
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and a Baliefe that maketh a bribe:
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I detest their wicked profession,
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for the Sumner, & Bawd live by evill:
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And the Delater by the statutes transgression
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deceives both the King and his people.
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And now I will come to Conclusion,
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for teadiousnesse oft proves abuse:
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An[d] if you can make right alusion,
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The composer needes frame no excuse:
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For of most of the sorts I have named,
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there are many both honest and wise:
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And many are much to be blamed,
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For their vild and detestable lives.
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