A merry new catch of all Trades.
To the tune of The cleane Contrary way.
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ALL Trades are not alike in show,
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All Arts doe not agree:
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All Occupations gaines are small,
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As heere they all shall see,
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As heere they all shall see.
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The Courtier woes, his servant does,
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Farre more then he can answer,
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The Baker weighes with false essayes,
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The Cuckold's turn'd a Monster. The Cuck. etc.
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The Taylor sowes, the Smith he blowes,
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The Tinker beates his pan:
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The Pewterer ranke, cries tinke a tanke tanke,
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The Apothecary ranta tan tan. The Apoth: etc.
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The Bricklayer high doth rise to flye,
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The Plummer oft doth melt,
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The Carpenter doth love his rule,
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And the Hatmakar loves his felt. And the, etc.
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The Weaver thumps, his olde wife mumps,
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The Barber goes snip snap,
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The Butcher prickes, the Tapster nickes,
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The Farmer stops a[g]ap. The Farmer, etc.
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The Curryer toyles, and deales in oyles,
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The Cobler lives by his peece:
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The Chamberlaine cheates with musty meates,
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And doth the Countrey fleece. And doth, etc.
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The Carter whips, the Begger ships,
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The Beadle lives by blowes,
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Yet whores wil be whores at honest mens doores
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Disphight a'th Beadles nose. Dispight a'th, etc.
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The Broome man cryes, mayd servants buyes,
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And swaps with him for wares,
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The Countrey asse doth to the Cosse,
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Sell Orchards full of Peares. Sell, etc.
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Some Schoole-masters teach beyond their reach,
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The Mason deales with his square,
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The Fletcher doth nock, and workes by the clock,
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The Beareward lives by his Beare. The, etc.
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The Grosers pates 'bout thinges of weight,
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Is often troubled sore,
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The Taylors yard is seldome marde,
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Tho it measure many a score.
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Tho it measure many a score.
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The second part.
To the same Tune
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THe Iron-monger hardly deales,
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All Fruterers loose by'th rot:
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The Hagler buyes and lives by lyes,
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The Drunkard plyes the pot.
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The Drunkard plyes the pot.
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The Collier sweares heele loose his eares,
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But he will falsly deale:
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And such are glad as mand the Pad,
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For trifles for to steale. For trifles, etc.
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The Budget-maker oftentimes,
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Doe deale in brasen nayles:
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And Tradesmen store, turne Porters poore,
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When other trading failes. When other, etc.
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The Water-man will carry Nan,
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For two-pence crosse the River:
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Yet this heele say, if she cannot pay,
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Her passage free heele give her. Her passage, etc.
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The Glover pokes, the Gallant smoakes,
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Yet lives in Tradesmen debts,
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The Drawer thrives by honest wives,
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The Cheater lives by bets. The Cheater, etc.
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The Cooke doth broyle, the Fencer foyle,
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The footman he doth sweat:
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And Apple-John doth usher Nan,
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And she gives him a heate. And she, etc.
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The Ostler rubs, the Cutler scrubs,
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The Semsters deale in Ruffes:
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The smoakie man with his small cole pan,
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Maintained is by puffes. Maintained is, etc.
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The Chandelors deeds great pennance needs,
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And Faggots they doe beare:
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The Vintner draines, yet makes no frayes,
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The Begger is voyde of care. The Begger, etc
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The Morris dance doth bravely prance,
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And about the Countrey goes:
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And May-poles hie shall mount to the' skie,
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Despight of the Hobby horse nose. Despight, etc
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Dissentions seede, the Parators neede,
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And Scoulds him money give:
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And if there were no swaggering Whore,
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The Pander could not live. The Pander, etc.
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Thus all arise by contraties,
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Heaven send them crosses ten:
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Unlesse they all both great and small,
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Doe live and dye honest men.
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Doe live and dye honest men.
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FINIS.
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