T:The Cheating Age:
Or L E O N A R D of Lincolnes journey to L O N D O N
to buy Wit.
To a pleasant new tune.
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FRom olde famous Lincolne that's seated so hye,
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Well mounted and furnisht, with gold did I flye,
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To Londons fam'd Citie some wit for to buy,
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Which cost me so deare, makes me sigh, sob, and cry.
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For this is the cheating Age,
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For this is the cheating Age.
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Before I had entered Bishops wide gate,
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The Mouth m[ad]e an offer as if it would prate:
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But one scrapt acquaintance unto my hard fate,
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And made me consume there most part of my state.
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For this is the cheating Age, etc.
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For after a neate comly French salutation,
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His tongue he did order in such a feat fashion,
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As I for to heare him amazed did stand,
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But he in the Taverne me pull'd by the hand.
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For this is the cheating Age, etc.
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When each one had tasted a cup two or three,
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What knowledge of Country and kindred had wee,
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How bountifull Bacchus with us did agree,
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That ne're till this houre did each other see.
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For this is the cheating Age, etc.
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He askt my affaires? I made him reply:
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And tolde him my comming was wit for to buy:
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(Quoth he) I'le befriend you with that presently,
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He unlatcht a window that Westward did flye.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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Then straight a strange whistle he to the street sends,
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Audaciously blowne from his Theeves fingers ends,
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The Drawer runs up, sayes, there's some of your friends
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Hath call'd for some wine, and your comming attends.
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For this is the cheating Age, etc.
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He cheard me, and tolde me, for them he had sent:
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Should teach me wit gratis ere homeward I went:
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But I ne're misdoubting, the Knavery he meant,
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Have swallow'd a baite which hath made me repent.
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For this is the cheating Age, etc.
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Up straight comes a Roarer with long shaggy lockes,
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New broke out from Newgate, the Cage, or some Stocks:
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Or else from the Spittle, halfe cur'd of the Pox,
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But I'le carefull be, least he pepper my box.
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For this is the cheating Age, etc.
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This totterd grim Rascall amaz'd me to heare,
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The terrible oathes which for nothing he sware,
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With that stampt his foote, and straightway did appeare
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Such horrible faces that made me to feare.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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Up marches two creatures in torne totterd cases,
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With long rustie Rapiers, swolne eyes, & patcht faces
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As if that black Pluto from Limbo had sent,
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These horrid grim visions to make us repent.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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The second part. To the same tune.
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MY former Companion straight rise from the boord,
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And courteous kinde greeting to them did afford:
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Saying, pray sir bid welcome my friends of the sword,
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That gaine credit by deeds sir, and not by their word:
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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First having saluted, we sate downe againe,
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And call'd for Tobacco, burnt Claret amaine:
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The Drawer officious to give us our bane,
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With cups plyde us hard to put's out of our paine.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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These chimney-nos'd-Rascals did make such a smother,
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I ne're saw the like since I came from my mother:
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Such cloude of blew vapour from their nosthrils did come,
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Had like for to choakt me, and fired the roome.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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Then up comes a Poet with a Rooke at his taile,
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That feedes all the Winter of Toasts drown'd in Ale,
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And in the Summer so setteth to sale,
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Inventions of others before, his time stale.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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Then straightway one calls to the barre-Boy for Dice,
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Which wrapt in a paper, was brought in a trice,
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Requesting to put off a little odde time,
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They would play for no more then a pottle of Wine.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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I gave my consent, and with them did play,
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From wine for dry money, till next breake of day,
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Where vext at my losses, I set at one cast,
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Full forty good pounds to be rid of my last.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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My money being set, the cast straight was throwne,
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And he like the divell cride, All is mine owne:
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So every penny he from me did get,
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And bad me to Lincolne goe backe by my wit.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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They having my money, did all steale away,
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And left me with nothing, five pound for to pay:
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But my cloake lin'd with velvet, & my rapier guilt gay,
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Did make cleane the score, and all charges defray,
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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A Pox of all Cheaters, and grim roaring Boyes:
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All rooking base Pandars and nitty Decoyes:
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And all that make practise to thrive by such fits,
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The three cornerd night-cap once cocker their wits.
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For this is the cheating age, etc.
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Now Leonard of Lincolne with griefe bids adiew:
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My journey to London long time I shall rue:
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I ne're in my life met with villaines so vilde,
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To send a man home like the Prodigall Childe.
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For this is the cheating age.
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For this is the cheating age.
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