The Cucking of a Scould. To the tune of, The Merchant of Emden.
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A Wedded wife there was,
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I wis of yeeres but yong,
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But if you thinke she wanted wit,
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Ile sweare she lackt no tongue.
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Just seventeene yeeres of age,
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This women was no more,
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Yet she would scold with any one,
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From twenty to threescore.
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The cucking of a Scold,
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The cucking of a Scold,
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Which if you will but stay to heare
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the cucking of a Scold.
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As nimble as an Eele,
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This womans tongue did wag,
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And faster you shall have it runne,
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Then any ambling Nag.
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But without mighty wrong,
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She would not shew her skill.
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But if that she were moved once
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The sport was not so ill.
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The cucking etc.
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Each man might quickl[y] know.
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When as the game begun
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B ut none could tell you for his life,
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What time she would have done.
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She was a famous Scould,
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A dainty Scould in graine,
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A stouter Scould was never bred
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Nor borne in Turne-gaine Lane.
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The cucking etc.
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Upon a time it chanc'd,
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And she did thus alledge,
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A neighbours maid had taken halfe
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Her dish-clout from the hedge:
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For which great trespasse done,
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This wrong for to requite,
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She scolded very hansomely,
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Two daies and one whole night.
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The cucking etc.
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Which something did molest
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The neighbours round about:
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But this was nothing to the fits
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That she would thunder out.
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B ut once, the truth to tell,
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Worse scolding did she keepe,
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For waking of her little Dog,
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That in the Sun did sleepe.
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The cucking, etc.
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Six winter dayes together,
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From morning eight a clocke,
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Untill the evening that each one
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Their doores began to lock:
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She scolded for this wrong,
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Which she accounted great,
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And unto peace and quietnesse
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No man could her intreat.
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The cucking, etc.
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So that this little Devill,
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With her unquiet tongue,
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Continually both far and neere,
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Molested old and yong.
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But yet soone after this,
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She made a greater brawle,
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Against the Constable, that did
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But pisse against her wall.
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The cucking, etc.
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She cal'd him beastly knave,
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And filthy Jacke for this,
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And said that every Cuckold now
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Against her wall must pisse:
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And in most raging sort,
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She rail'd at him so long.
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He made a vow he would revenge
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This most outragious worng.
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The cucking, etc.
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And first of all behold,
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He clapt her in the Cage,
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Thinking thereby her devillish tongue,
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He would full well asswage.
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But now worse then before,
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She did to brawling fall.
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The Constable and all the rest
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She vildly did miscall.
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The cucking, etc.
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Thus night and day she sent
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Such brawling from her drest,
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That ner'a neighbour in the towne
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Could take one houres rest.
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Which when the Justice knew,
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This judgement than gave he,
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That she upon a cucking stoole
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Should justly punisht be.
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The cucking, etc.
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Upon three market dayes,
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This penance she should bide,
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And every thing fit for the same.
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The Officers did provide:
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An hundred Archers good,
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Did first before her goe,
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A hundred and five nimble shot
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Went next unto the Roe.
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The cucking, etc .
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An hundred armed men
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Did also follow there:
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The which did guard the gallant Scould
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With piercing Pikes and Spears:
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And trumptes sounding sweete
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In order with them comes
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A company most orderly,
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With pleasant Phifes and Drums.
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The cucking, etc.
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And forty Parrats then,
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On sundry pearches hie,
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Were carried eke before the scould,
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Most fine and orderly
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And last of all a mighty wispe
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Was borne before her face.
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The perfect tokens of a Scould
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Well knowne in every place.
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The cucking, etc.
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Then was the Scould her selfe.
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In a wheele-barrow brought.
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Stripped naked to the smocke,
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As in that case she ought:
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Neats tongues about her necke
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Were hung in open show;
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And thus unto the cucking stoole
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This famous Scould did goe.
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The cucking, etc.
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Then fast within the chaire
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She was most finely bound,
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Which made her scold excessively,
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And said she should be drown'd.
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But every time that she
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Was in the water dipt,
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The drums and trumpets sounded, brave
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For joy the people skipt.
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The cucking, etc.
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Six times when she was duckt
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Within the water cleare.
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That like unto a drowned Rat,
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She did in sight appeare.
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The justice thinking then
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To send her straight away,
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The Constable she called knave,
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And knav'd him all the day.
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The cucking etc.
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Upon which words, I wot,
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They duckt her straight againe
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A dozen times ore head and eares:
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Yet she would not refraime,
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But still revil'd them all.
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Then to't againe they goe,
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Till she at last held up her hands,
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Saying, Ile no more doe so.
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The cucking etc.
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Then was she brought away,
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And after for her life,
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She never durst begin to scould
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With either man or wife.
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And if that every Scould
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Might have so good a diet,
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Then should their neighbours every day
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Be sure to live in quiet,
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The cucking of a Scould,
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The cucking of a Scould
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Which if you will but stay to heare
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The cucking of a Scould.
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